Neighbour Talk


Talk about your neighbours.

To my left, I have an elderly Trinidadian couple who have the most pristine garden I have ever seen. The guy also plays really loud Calypso and Reggae at around 9 or 10 most nights when he takes a shower (my window is about 2 metres opposite their bathroom) and sings along. Its glorious. Cook a sunday roast absolutely every sunday, which I am envious of.

to my right, an elderly Irish couple. garden in worse state of affairs, but they sometimes invite me in for a cuppa if they see me coming home or I need to pick up a parcel or something.

10/10 neighbours.


left: pleasant older man, retired quantity surveyor or something like that. i don’t really know what a quantity surveyor is.

right: until recently a portuguese family with a cat that kept running away to their old house. haven’t seen the new neighbours yet, if there are any. haven’t seen the old neighbours’ cat either so either they’ve kept it indoors a bit longer this time or it’s still running away back to their previous house


Flat below is a nice chinese couple who we never really see or hear much of. New neighbours on the ground floor are kind of pArTy GiRlS who have a lot of people coming and going and never answer the front door even though it’s for them 90% of the time. I hate them so much!!!


Sorry to hear you haven’t been invited to the party


I dont think you’re being sincere


Upstairs: Primary school teacher, 26, single female.
Downstairs: Secondary school teacher, 32, single female.
We’re all pretty similar so get along well, go out to pub quizzes and for meals or round to each others flats for food/drinks and all that. Downstairs and my wife are pretty much bessie mates these days.

In the block of apartments next to us, 2 of them are fine - One is a driving instructor who is always friendly, although he has 2 cars and the way he was parking them was a pain in the arse until I had a word about it. The grouns floor flat has a couple in it who have a lovely little cat that always tries to follow you through the front door or jump into your car. The other couple in that block moved out last week (and nobody has moved in yet) but they seemed a bit strange.


One side’s an elderly guy, he gets quite a lot of visitors but we still go out of our way to check he needs anything, take his bin bags downstairs or something. I secretly loathe how slowly he walks.

On the other side’s a young family, the kids are pure chaos, but in a really endearing sweet way. Love hearing them run around. The dad is tall and laid back about all the chaos, always asks us when the next gig is (which I suppose is effort enough).
We baked them a cake after being so loud that they had to knock on our door at 4 in the morning the other week :confused: We are the bad neighbours. They asked if there was alcohol in it. It made me think it’d be a hilarious way to merc a clearly very religious family by way of fake apology. Next time.


Always give us tons of awesome food around ramadan time too. Top family.


going to comment on my boyfriend’s neighbours too as i spend more time there than i do here:
left and right - families with young children
above - family with young child who runs around and jumps a lot
above right - dunno
above left - my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend. he didn’t realise until he was in the process of buying the flat that the reason the building seemed familiar is because he used to live in it.


Landlords are opposite (large plot, huge house, we probably live in an ex granny house of sorts). Nothing to report, boring to a point, but will mow our lawn in the summer and are proper chill with bill and rent payments. Lucked into it a bit.

Neighbours to the left have had their house rebuilt from scratch over the winter, don’t have anything to do with them.

Neighbours to the right have their shopping delivered really early on a Sunday morning which can wake us up occasionally, but again don’t really have anything to do with them. They’ll quite often be awake past 3am which is slightly odd, but could be explained through a number of reasons.


I’m the only private owner in a block of six council flats, so the neighbours have a tendency to rotate quite frequently.

Ground floor: young couple who only seem to chain smoke and wear pajamas, recently replaced an Asian family that seemed to have about 20 members in one flat. Old couple where the husband is permanent pottering about outside, almost never see the wife. Fairly confident that if something went down they’d know all about it, proper curtain twitchers.

Middle floor: 2 couples with young kids. Flat directly below me have 3 kids under 5 in a small 2 bed and not coping particularly well. Prone to random bursts of wall shakingly loud music at random times of the day, including times when I’m sure the kids must be in bed.

Top floor: me and an older lady who has an 18 year old son. She’s nice and takes in my parcels, and is hilariously entertaining to listen to when she comes home drunk.




what the fuck else would you do?


genuinely have no idea


Moved in two months ago and I still haven’t gone and introduced myself. I’d like to go and knock and say hi in case they’re a GBOL but I dunno if it’s a bit too late now. It’s a big block of flats and most of the people I’ve seen around up to now seem alright


Underneath, a woman from china, when she first moved in I heard her shout for help because she was locked in, went down there and it turned out she just didn’t understand the lock/latch system. Only heard from her once since with a note through the door saying there was water coming through the ceiling and whether there was something we could do to stop it, there was not.

Underneath 2 down, young couple, guy has blue hair and a motorbike. Find it annoying he trails a massive extension lead down the stairs and across the car park to work on his bike, there’s loads of old folk about who could trip over. His girlfriend seemed really annoyed with me when a package was delivered to them for me, dunno if there was a reason like we are too loud or something.

Opposite, an older couple, they are probably the same age but the husband is really frail whereas the wife still seems youthful.

Above, youngish guy whose flat is on top and spans the space of two, suspect he was the one who nearly knocked out door down when we were watching a film too loudly, but he is always jovial in the lift. I think the lift goes into his flat because you need a key for his floor. The lift always seems to be on his floor and the lift always smells of soup, I’ve concluded he eats a lot of soup.

Don’t know the rest, a lot of old people, the care taker said it was because they bought the flats in the 60s and it is so nice they don’t want to leave. Gives the place a retirement home vibe which I quite like


Right: couple of postgraduate students. Perfect neighbours, in that they’re quiet, don’t try to talk to me, and don’t mind taking in parcels.

Left: couple of fannies. He’s a balding northerner with a stupid name. She’s… honestly couldn’t pick her out of a line up. Neither of them have indoor voices, they just shout at each other all hours of the day. Not angry shouting, but it’s still shouting.


To the left: couple with young child. Really good neighbours: look out for our house if we’re away, take parcels in for us, generally quite nice to chat to.
To the right: an extended Lithuanian family. We had some difficulties with the son (who lived in the top room and had a habit of coming in drunk and loud in the early hours) but it all seems to have settled down. Pleasant enough whenever we see them.

Both houses are owned by private landlords, and we were recently embroiled in a dispute with the landlords regarding a burst supply pipe, ugh.


To the left. English woman, young child, broke up with her Kiwi partner recently. Good sort. Brought us apples and suchlike.
To the right (other side of our semi-detached): a couple with a young child. Apparently. I wonder if they don’t exist because I’ve never actually seen them, and basically never hear them.

The guy before them was great, anti-social Glenn. Whenever someone posted on our neighborhood forum about gangs of youth egging houses or making too much noise, Glenn would jump in and suggest setting up street patrols to catch the miscreants in the act.


Right: bog standard family with two kids, not particularly noisy. the dad likes rugby as you can hear him shouting at the TV when it’s on, and going by their recycling they drink about ten bottles of Peroni per day and they seem to take rubbish out to their bins roughly every hour.

Left: used to be some students who were occasionally noisy but always messy, so much rubbish outside their house all the time. when they moved out they couldn’t be bothered to take their furniture to the tip/get it collected so for some reason they took it up to the loft and hid it behind some insulation, which is clearly more effort than taking it to the tip/getting it collected.

The new people next door are a pretty standard couple, woman looks like someone from my work and drives the same car as the person from my work that she looks like (bit odd tbh). they park in our spot occasionally so my wife hates them. Their TV is tiny.

special mention Two to the left: bald guy who works as a handyman and looks after a couple of houses on the road for their landlord, including the former student house to the left. If he is outside and you go outside you are guaranteed to be having a 15 minute conversation with him about him and his life (this is how I know about the student furniture loft thing). He has a huge TV too, think he has a family but never seen them.