Neurodiversity Thread


#321

Thanks fl. X


#322

Is it possible to try and plan for these situations a bit - talking through with friends/family what you need from them/that you just want to be left alone etc? Could you havekey instructions written down and kept close at hand that you could handover to them? I know that wont help in every situation but maybe it would in some? Sorry if im misunderstanding the issue. X


#323

I have tried explaining things as best I can, but a lot of it they just don’t seem to understand, like they still take offence if I ask them to stop speaking despite me explaining that it is because if I ask it means I have got to a point where I am overloaded and cannot handle any additional sensory or cognitive inputs (also in situations involving R, I don’t think it is helpful having three different voices because he might be feeling much the same as me and the clarity of just his mum speaking and instructing must be better).

Maybe I could try writing some things down, but I am still not sure they would be understood even if I could express things as I wanted :frowning:


#324

I am so with you on the last point today.

Fuck autism. Just absolutely fuck off.


#325

Just had one of my Top 10 adult meltdowns (Very publicly yay). Forgot my pin and it kept saying wrong until my card was cancelled, and then I tried to use my credit card but I was panicking so couldn’t get that right either so had to leave the shop. Tried ringing first direct bit just couldn’t understand anything they were saying. Threw my phone on the ground. Got in the car started crying and was drenched in sweat cause the sun was directly on the windscreen. Managed to drive to another atm because I thought I’d remembered the pin but it said card declined. Just absolutely lost it and freaked out everyone around me. Had plans for tonight but now have to cancel them, and I need to go to London on Saturday and I’m terrified my card isn’t going to work.

No idea how I managed to drive home without killing myself.


#326

Anyone got experience of dealing with perfectionism? Manifesting in ultra competitive mindset, extreme mood swings based on achievement/lack of, obsessive analysis of performance and errors, fixation on being the best and a deep sense of sorrow when that doesn’t happen. Not really very healthy but I don’t know how to control it or break out of the mindset.

My best mate called me out on it last night and every time I think of it I feel proper sick. Like he’s touched the rawest possible nerve and I’m about to get found out


#327

Yeah, it’s something I’ve addressed in counseling. The approach was to think about why it’s so important to me that task x is flawless, then dismantling the wonky thoughts at the root of it.

A more trivial example for me would be “it would be a terrible if I didn’t win this card game tournament”. Why? Because people are expecting me to do well. False, they’re thinking about their own performance first and foremost. Alternatively: because if I don’t win it means I’m stupid. No it doesn’t, there are loads of factors that determine who wins, and there are plenty of things I could use to illustrate that I’m not stupid. And even if I am, why is that important to me? etc etc

I still get those feelings, and especially in relation to work, but exercises like that stop me from feeling so overwhelmed by them.


#328

My ex experienced this. The feelings appeared to be the most overwhelming where work was concerned, managing exercise regimes and nutrition. She strove to maintain an equilibrium between these components but where unable to achieve the high standards she held herself up against, she experienced a severe decline in mood.

Have you tried CBT?


#329

My son is displaying lots of traits associated with PDA. Anyone have any experience of/identify as PDA? Please PM if you have any tips/advice: he’s having a pretty tough time at the moment, so any advice that might make things easier for him is greatly appreciated. x


#330

Would anyone like this book? I know the title is awful but it’s quite helpful if you have a child with aspergers/autism. Happy to post it next week if anyone wants it before it goes to the charity shop.


#331

As predicted with my new job, the work itself is absolutely fine. It’s just socially a bit of a struggle…

I had quite an unpleasant/awkward interaction with this intimidating person I’m being trained with and it’s freaked me out a bit. Usually I don’t care but it’s just the fact I have to see him every day… that’s when it’s a problem.

I mean he seems alright but he also seems a bit rough and fierce (one of these ‘hard man’ types, yeah please kill me now) and he did basically sort of tell me off earlier for something I thought was a bit unfair really.


#332

Don’t even know if this is relevant to post here but I’ve barely even talked to anyone today and the few minutes I have actually interacted with anyone have been disastrous. Can’t seem to be coherent and then I just wander off overanalysing why I spoke like such a weirdo.


#333

don’t really have much to add except that i relate to this massively and am offering solidarity!


#334

Social anxiety high five!

Now let us part and each wonder if we did the high five right forevermore.


#335

This is me pretty much all the time

At work I haven’t really spoken to anyone properly so far, I’ve also avoided the coffee break room like the plague, luckily I’m in a big place so I can go wherever really, but I think my colleagues are starting to think I’m a bit aloof and every time I talk to them it’s usually pretty awkward


#336

This is pretty much me. I really want to go to the London DiS meet on Thursday night as it seems a great bunch of DiSers, but as predicted I’m now getting really anxious about going, fearing that I’ll just come across as a blathering idiot, or I will just sit there not saying anything and wanting to go home (not because the DiSers won’t be lovely, but I’ll be anxious). I hate being like this.


#337

It obviously doesn’t help, but know that at least half of the other people there will likely be thinking almost exactly the same.


#338

If it helps, when I went to a similar meat in January I felt exactly the same and even though I was pretty quiet at times (a lot) and I didn’t feel like I spoke all that well at all, everyone still made me feel very welcome and gradually I felt less anxious because I knew no one was judging me for it because they were all a GBOL.

Maybe try pick whoever you talk to most on here to try and sit next to? Or if you already know anyone, I think Antpoc is going and I vaguely recall you saying you’ve met him before? Maybe that’ll help.

Hopefully I am going, even though it is still pretty scary, but it feels like a meal with a bunch of DiSers is probably the most relaxed attempt at a social situation I can think of for myself. I have had a stomach bug which I am not 100% back from yet so I am not sure if I am going to be well enough.


#339

I’m hoping I don’t back out. Tonight is my third 9am to 9pm shift since last Wednesday, hopefully I won’t be too tired tomorrow (sounds like I’m looking for excuses already)

Yes, I’ve met antpoc, although that was probably 10 years ago now. Nice guy though, and the general list of DiSers for the meet does look good.


#340

Does anyone else get this anxious (and perhaps irrational) feeling with some people where you just sort of tell that you’re not going to get on with them? I mean when you meet a new colleague for example, or a friend of a friend, and it just seems obvious from the first few few conversations that you’re very different people. Not necessarily having nothing in common, more just that you have a very different personality to them, especially from the first few impressions, it’s just obvious somehow and you know it’s going to be awkward.

I kind of feel like this with this person at work and idk. He seems like a proper lad’s lad, rough life, really into football, doesn’t take shit from no one, bulked up, struts about like a gorilla, says something quite abrasive followed by ‘I’m joking!’.

I’ve barely had a proper conversation with this person yet I feel pretty uncomfortable in his company and it’s making me a bit miserable. I remember hearing him say ‘oh for fuck sake’ out loud the other day and idk, in a workplace environment it just seems a bit odd to say that out loud, like he’s already kind of marked his territory and established himself as ‘the lad’ there. I guess I’m just a bit sensitive and over-thinking this.