My anxiety is getting out of hand, it presents itself as a complete fear of doing certain things to the point where i get so stressed i have to avoid it in order to not fall apart. This is highly disruptive as it means i csnt get a lot of important shit done. I tried the 10 min method (just doing the scary thing for 10 mins) and i did it yesterday but it felt like i ran a marathon after. Was proud i started but wtf everything is so hard, my anxiety used to just be social anxiety when i was diagnosed in 2008 but now its way more insidious. Also social anxiety has gone down, im alright with others now in a way i just wasn’t as a teen but thats just growing up i suppose. Idk, its massively debilitating
I’ve just seen on BBC News that one of the I’m A Celebrity… contestants has said they have Asperger’s (diagnosed at 45!). It’s almost enough to make me want to watch it.
it’s the one from the chase, isn’t it? the governess?
Apparently. Those words mean absolutely nothing to me.
I’ve always been in a weird place that I don’t think I’ve ever had help with. I’ve been on and off meds for anxiety for about 10 years and never had any change either positive or negative.
I don’t feel anxiety in most situations, but I can get panicky when I think about certain things. Someone recently said that they think I have traits they feel could be described as ADS. I’m not really up on the subject and based on my limited knowledge I don’t particularly think that I do, but that’s based on my preconceptions I guess so I wouldn’t really want to say either way. I wonder a lot about how people see me and if that gels with how I see myself.
I have a lot of trouble expressing myself to others, especially when it’s to do with more difficult or…bigger(?) emotions. I also have trouble knowing how I feel to be able to express that in the first place.
So the uni people have said I should go see someone.
I’m making enquiries about getting an assessment/diagnosis done through Action for Asperger’s, which was a personal recommendation.
I didn’t think I needed it but I’ve been caught out on something at work that is directly tied to poor organisational skills/executive function and if I’m honest with myself it’s an area of my life that actually causes quite a few problems.
Not sure if I’ll make work aware (assuming a positive assessment) but I think I’d quite like to have the certainty now, one way or the other.
It has been an interesting watch. She has done incredibly well. I’m sure I’d have found it all way too overwhelming and bolted after a day, but she has stuck it out. Great to see some mainstream representation of autism.
This place is great: local chocolatiers that employ (pretty much exclusively) people with ASD. Their chocolates are amazing too.
Would so try and get a job there if they were local, I have a patisserie & confectionery qualification so I actually have relevant skills and stuff. Need more places like that.
Just found out about this book and it’s now top of my reading wishlist.
neurodiversity episode on the generally quite wholesome and nice Ed Miliband podcast. had to stop listening halfway through cos for some reason listening to and watching clinical medical stuff makes me feel really weird, might be interesting to some people though
I’m not really sure if this is relevant for this thread but my plans for tomorrow have been changed on short notice and I think a fair amount of anxiety is centred purely on that fact. Barely concentrating on anything but fretting over how things could possibly go wrong and that. Gggaaaahhhh
Had a really deflating evening tonight where I felt like a non-person because I couldn’t keep up with a (small) group social thing. Couldn’t keep up with conversation in the pub because of the other conversations around us, and was totally out of sync with conversation in the restaurant the whole time.
Then had some awkwardness around “ooh I can tell you don’t want to be hugged” at the end of it, but actually it would have been fine but apparently I’m not good enough at masking that I need to be prepared for that and looked visibly uncomfortable. Great.
Feel completely overwhelmed by my new office. I’ve gone from working in an office with three other people where we are lunch at our desks to working with about ten people plus a few mangers in a place where we have to eat in the small canteen area. Since we moved here in mid December I’ve been trying to be friendly and ask trivial questions, laugh along etc but I’m just completely failing at it. I try to make the same kinds of comments other people do and I don’t know if it’s that it sounds insincere or that I don’t day quite the right thing but people just seem to be “…” to everything I say - not out rude, but I tend to get the impression they don’t want me to be part of the conversation. I can’t seem to find any mutual points of interest with anyone.
Went for lunch a bit later than most people (everyone tends to go together for some reason) as I was doing some work that required concentration. All my colleagues were sat around a table chatting/laughing with no space at it to bring in a chair. Microwaved my lunch thinking somebody would make an opening or bring another table over, but nobody did so I just sat at a table by myself (I was the only other person in the canteen). Maybe I was just supposed to go and bring up a chair and ask people to move up, but I’m so bad at reading people I thought it was best not to in case they didn’t want me there. Which is probably true.
Honestly I’d prefer to eat lunch by myself anyway but I wanted to try and go outside my comfort zone and try to be like everyone else. I don’t want to be the person costing to sit by themselves and coming across rude/stand-offish. And all that effort (which has been very draining) has had literally zero effect.
Just feel completely pathetic. I’m much more mature than I used to be but nothing has changed really from back then, has it? I’m still a freak. How can someone be so horrifically bad at life? I’m of zero value to the world.
15 months ago I wrote in this thread about being referred for an autism assessment. Well, yesterday I finally had it! The person I saw was super lovely, had autism herself and made me feel really comfortable. It was tough dragging up my entire life history, I had my mum with me though, that helped and she filled in the blanks for the bits I couldn’t recall. I was given the diagnosis the same day and am now being referred for an ADD assessment.
I felt really indifferent about it yesterday but now I’m a bit thrown by it. There’s suddenly all these answers that I haven’t heard for all of my life and it’s quite an odd feeling. But I’m happy to have this information, at least.
I had my first ASD appointment last week. It was really hard and I didn’t like it.
Was that an assessment? Or something else?
Don’t know why I liked that, sorry
yeah. I’m so easily overwhelmed by busy, noisy group situations. still don’t know if it’s purely anxiety/past trauma or something else.
I went to Bury Arcade with some friends the other week and the noise, visual as well as aural, was just a constant sensory assault. not close friends with a couple of the people I was with, too, so trying to be social in amidst that was a nightmare.
I was a bit worried about my parents involvement, they had been in complete denial, a story they had told me my whole life about how non verbal I was as a child suddenly vanished, think they came through in the end though, dunno what they said as they were interviewed separately but was told by the assessor that they had been helpful. Remember feeling very elated walking out of that place report in hand, kind of consider it a second birthday or something