This was meant to be a reply to manches-brute.
Same. Like, I’ve been medicated for years for ‘anxiety’ with no benefit so I’m not sure that’s really it. Currently feeling super withdrawals too so I’d rather find some other sort of diagnosis?..if there is one so I’m not cycling through medications all the time…if possible. Not the cycling thread.
Not sure if I’ve posted about this before, but does anyone else unintentionally minic people’s ascents? I sometimes do it when talking to people, or if I’ve been watching a TV show with a certain accent. Watching Peaky Blinders at the moment so that’s a bit
It’s so embarrassing and I’m getting better at catching it early on and stopping, but it still happens quite a lot. Just spoke to someone now when a car did a stupid overtake just before a dual carriageway and it was just cringe. I mean, they probably would just think I was from Birmingham, but that only works with one-off interactions.
Our new head of organisation is from Wales so really hoping I never have to interact with him…
I definitely lift little mannerisms from people I like / tv shows / films / music. I think, in my case, it’s a Midlands thing: I know a few people with fairly ‘neutral’ Midlands accent where the way we speak is a bit of a mish mash.
I was the sort of insufferable kid / am the sort of insufferable adult who likes doing funny voices and impressions as well, so there’s also that
When i first got into Father Ted, I was saying “okay so” ALL THE TIME
Yes I do this all the time usually just the odd word here and there, but if I’m talking to someone with a thick Saaf Landan accent I go full-on with the mimicking, unintentionally of course.
This is common, i think most people do it to some extent whether it’s noticeable or not (probably why nearly everyone picks an accent eventually if they move to a different area?). It’s called accomodation. Sometimes people will do the opposite if they’re subconsciously trying to distance themselves from the person they’re speaking to, and emphasise the difference in their accent (eg an english person getting more RP when talking to an american).
According to this, not mimicking people’s speech patterns and body language can be associated with autism or social difficulties so i think what you’re experiencing may not be a neurodiversity thing!
Yeah, I was the same. That and Dougal’s “oh right” all the time
Weird, I’ve seen a lot of autistic people who say they do this. I always figured it’s because speaking doesn’t come naturally and so you look for cues from the person you’re speaking to. The same way that autistic people sometimes parrot back things said to them (e.g. If someone says to me “how are you?” I might respond with "how are you?“)
Perhaps it can be both?
Ah, just read that paragraph on wiki and it appears to be unreferenced bullshit. I mean -
It is possible, though very rare, for some of these individuals to deliberately learn and become aware of these cues.[ citation needed ] This, however, is the exception to the rule, not the norm.[ citation needed ]
But yeah, it’s clearly not just an autistic thing. But almost certain that for me it comes from a place of autism or social anxiety. And it actually causes social problems rather than preventing them…
That’s really interesting, i guess maybe it depends on whether someone does look for cues or not. The bit in the article where it mentions autistic people possibly being less likely to mirror definitely rang a bell for me with my dad (undiagnosed but clearly autistic), though i can’t say I’d noticed anything either way with other autistic family members.
Just remembered that i went to a chinese restaurant the other day with some colleagues, one of whom had had a bit too much to drink already, and she straight away unintentionally did a sort of chinese accent when speaking to the restaurant staff when we arrived. I really hope they didn’t notice but we all did!
Yeah, at least because I know I do it, I can prepare for situations where it could cause real offence, but it’s very exhausting.
Interestingly though, I could never sound like a natural when speaking Japanese, so it only works for me with English
I wonder if it does help with languages though. You may not have sounded like a natural but that takes a really long time and maybe you sounded more natural than others with the same amount of experience with the language? Lots of people never get to sound like a native speaker even after years living in another country!
And yes it’s good that you’re aware of it at least, even if it’s tiring to stop it. It’s a pity that it’s seen as odd when most people do it a bit and there’s no bad intention behind it.
Had the worst meltdown earlier in a shopping centre, like crying on the floor unresponsive bad. Stupid autism.
On a more positive and completely different note though, I am really glad that I keep persisting with my old independent optician because first they are amazingly sensitive and comfortingly familiar, and second the optometrist noted that my lens tint is “clinically necessary” because of being autistic and having light hypersensitivity so I got extra money off … ok, only another £8 on my NHS voucher, but it is the consideration of her to do that which touched me. Shame the system doesn’t allow for the full price of transitions lenses to be covered because they are £££.
…and finally, former DiSer howtobealone/allnerve showed me this etsy seller who makes really good neurodiversity/mh/other conditions (and also LGBTQI+ and other minority) pins for letting people know things:
Definitely think I would find a few useful, well actually a lot but I am going to pick some of the more important ones which might help in situations like I had earlier when I can’t speak to let people know things like not to touch me etc.
I was interviewed for this:
I wish the title was better, and wish I was much more eloquent than the quotes supplied within (plenty of other pertinent-ish thoughts beyond gigs), but really glad that the conversation can take place at all and fuck, there’s a picture of me in THE GUARDIAN.
(it’s a sick picture as well, pal)
Posted this pretty much at the same time as your post:
So many stresses make gigs so tiring and verging on in accessible. The gig mentioned in my post there^ I had a panic attack on the way to it because there were so many uncertainties about it. Would be cool if places provided some sort of access statement that could give details about the venue (and ideally more specifically about the show). The fact that the example I can think of for this comes from a children’s attraction illustrates a problem touched on by the article that ‘autism-friendly’ pretty much only extends to serving families with autistic children (and it is great there are things like that, but people don’t stop being autistic when they are adults). Anyway, example - there’s this story centre place in Stratford I take my son, pretty much his favourite place, and I looked on their website before going the first time and found this which is an explanation with pictures of every area there which was excellent at allowing me to be prepared and reduce the stress of going somewhere I didn’t know. Would be great to see venues have things like that, with details as well about if they offer earplugs, chairs, alternative places to stand/sit which might be more comfortable, etc.
That guide is a really good idea - especially things like entrance, toilets etc. Also the place itself looks so cool!
There are so many places I haven’t been just because I don’t understand the process in advance. I’ve walked into a (free) museum before and there was a desk but nobody there and so I just walked in and then got told off by someone because you were supposed to go get a ‘ticket’ even though it was free. It’s why I very rarely go to non chain cafés and restaurants as well - when do I pay, how can I pay, can I order just a drink etc etc.
So much this! Always a panic in a café when you don’t know the process, another thing I wish they could just have a simple statement in the window that explains how they do things there (for example ‘here you go to the counter and order your food and pay, you will then take a number and choose a table and your food will be brought to you when it is ready’ - stressed me out a bit just writing an example thinking of all the different versions there are for paying, ordering, seating, etc)
Anxiety levels would be so much lower for me if there were less things were it is assumed people will find it obvious.
Even as a neurotypical I would absolutely welcome this. It should be a nice treat trying out a new cafe/whatever, but I get preoccupied with the thought of stepping in and standing there blankly while I’m trying to figure out what I’m supposed to do!
Have had quite a few times where I have got in a panic not knowing what I am meant to do. Places where you are meant to go up to the counter to pay after your meal are the worst, have accidentally almost dined and dashed a couple of times
Also, new avatar - is that George from Oh No George?