**New** Mental Health Thread (2018/19 Rolling)


#2287

have been shafted by by gas company and my bank, long and complicated, but the end result is that after rent/bills/food/xmas shopping, with the shafting on top i checked my account and i’m £-6.52. i nearly started crying at the atm. haven’t lost my temper in years but when i went home i tried to call my energy company/bank and find out wtf they are playing at i was just fed a load of shit. ended up smashing a plate and kicking in my bin, then being 30 minutes late for work today because of arguing with bank and energy co. staff. they’ve said they’ll fix their mistakes but i won’t see the benefit for another month.

i loved that bin. i feel so stupid. my tv says she can lend me some money until payday (21st) but idk, i feel like no matter how hard i work i never have enough. i feel so powerless in these situations. i’ve got like 3 driving lessons and a friends bday/xmas night out before the 21st too, and knowing i’m doing these things on my tv’s dime just doesn’t sit right. feel like such a useless bag of freeloading shite, feel really dumb for trying to get into the spirit of things with the crimbo shopping, feel mad and helpless and miserable. i need a better paying job but i just don’t feel like i’ll ever get anything that pays well tbh.


#2288

The hardship fund is there for exactly this reason. Please use it. It’ll take the pressure off.


#2289

it’s okay, my tv has saved my bacon (again). but thanks. idk tho juke, what’s it all about eh? it’s mad that you can work 40 hours a week, feel like you’re never away from it sometimes, and still end up this fucked with 2 weeks still to go until your next wage. wish you could get subs from the gaffers like in the old days, or even weekly pay, it’s so much easier to manage.


#2290

aye Juke’s right, that sounds horribly stressful, and I know getting a bit of extra money in isn’t going to solve any problems long term but please seriously consider it. we should all help each other out of these spots more.

either way hope your situation improves dude.


#2291

^THIS.

Plus I can’t speak to anybody to show appreciation.
My mum says to me “if you can’t say it show it” so I can’t express feelings to people but I can try to do things that make people feel appreciated. This is probably so obvious as a way to behave for most people but yeah I’m a fully self obsorbed person and it’s not nice for people.


#2292

Really though, if it happens again try to use the fund, at least that way you won’t feel the extra pressure of asking a loved one.

I totally get what you’re saying, just modern Britain isn’t it. It’s shameful that people can still be put in these situations, and how such a large number of us are a paycheck or two away from the streets. Hope things improve mate.


#2293

also I totally understand why people feel like they can’t use the fund, and if we ever encourage people to use it I hope no one ever reads it as saying that that should be their first move rather than complaining. having space for a big fucking vent is important too.


#2294

yep. plus, a few years ago i used to spend money like no tomorrow because of MH stuff, magical thinking/mania and whatnot, so learning how to actually manage my cash has been massively important to feeling like a “real” adult. so when stuff like this happens, even though you have objective proof it isn’t your fault, it still absolutely curb stomps your sense of self-worth/confidence.


#2295

big sadness :frowning:


#2296

yeah! (a Villa game, right? )


#2297

Any!


#2298

I think 2019 has to be the year I redefine my relationship with alcohol. Went out with the intention of taking it easy last night and ended up getting shit faced, getting The Fear and having to duck out prior to the headline band (who I really wanted to see) and have spent the last 16 hours or so lying in the dark hating myself.

If I can’t get my binging tendencies under control I think I’m going to have to quit, which honestly terrifies me. But the effect nights like these have on my mental health have become too much to bear.


#2299

don’t be scared of giving up the booze! one of my best friends gave up drinking in mid sept and it has worked out brilliantly for her, especially in terms of her mental health :+1:

that said, it’s clearly a big thing for most people. she did sober october and has found it much easier to carry on after that - if you began with a standing start it would be harder. then again, if you found that after stopping for a month you wanted to go back to drinking a little bit you might be able to cos it’s different for everyone.

i’ve found that when i’ve given up for a long time (month, 6 weeks) even after i’ve gone back to drinking it’s taken a long time for me to end up back in the more messy places i’d been before. so if you have 1 month of no booze and 2 months of more sensible boozing then clearly 3 months under control makes it much easier to recognise what’s going on.


#2300

It’s hard not to be scared of the idea: so many of my relationships with people revolve around booze. It’d be a massive change for me. And I do for the most part still enjoy it, I just need to get it under control. And if I can’t…

You’re right about periods of abstinence. I’ve done dry January a couple of times and I think that’ll help again. Maybe stretch it through February and then limit drinking days and setting myself unit ceilings will help.


#2301

just confronted myself with something that had the potential to be very dangerous to my mental health. could have gone through my entire life without doing it but kind of knew i would (have to) do it sooner or later.

took a deep breath and did it.

actually feel… all right. definitely NOT devastated, in any way shape or form. if anything, a little surprised at how little i feel. like… “oh. … cool.”

time and distance can work wonders, huh. think i’ll have to remind myself of this moment in times of darkness, that actually, i can recover from stuff, and i can be strong, and things can be ok. even better than ok. we are resilient. i am resilient. and for the first time in a long time, i kinda feel it.

guess i’m writing this half as a memo to myself and half to everyone else who is going through a tough time. there’ll come a day when things just… are all right again.

(sorry for the vagueness of this post, don’t want to go into too much detail, but i hope people can relate.)


#2302

I genuinely feel like two different people on and off the booze. When i drink regularly, even if it’s in moderate amounts, my interest in virtually anything vanishes instantly. I don’t read books, listen to new music, exercise, eat fruit and veg, do any household chores at all, teach myself or learn anything.

Within a few days of not having a pint i start eating a really balanced diet, getting stuff done, investigating loads of new stuff, work seems about 90% less stressful. Stuff like my speech improves, mad as it sounds, my sense of taste.

I’ve probably made this exact post about four times in this thread, but every fucking time i wonder why anyone would ever drink alcohol, then i’ll have a couple of pints, end up doing so most days and get to the point of feeling not far off suicidal.

Anxiety, depression or stress just aren’t compatible with booze.


#2303

Okay well i just got home and broke down in tears. Fuck


#2304

Big hug and solidarity to you my friend :hugs:

Here if you want to talk about it x


#2305

I just dont know where its come.from. ive had a really lovely day and now it feels horrid


#2306

Well if you’re not sure on the cause maybe best not to overthink it? You might feel fine again in the morning :slight_smile:

Hang in there!