Definitely feeling a bit overwhelmed and stressed at the moment.
It got to the stage today where I had to ask my wife to leave the flat, just so I could sit in alone for a while.
This year could charitably be described as ‘tough’. My father-in-law died having been terminally ill for a number of years, beyond that my wife’s had some issues of her own. There are times that I’ve not been was supportive as I could be with exams etc, but I can’t take full responsibility for that.
The last couple of weeks it’s kind of come to a head though. There’s mounting life admin and concerns about money for the next year or two. My wife’s having surgery on Monday too.
But the main thing is that my dad’s got health issues of his own now. He’s been quite secretive about them, but my mum/sister were concerned enough that I made an unplanned trip back to Liverpool last weekend. He did eventually confide in me, though we’re still none-the-wiser while awaiting tests.
I’m more than aware that his symptoms could indicate something like cancer. I also have more than enough medical knowledge to know that honestly it really could be several other things, some of which are probably more likely.
Generally I just don’t deal well with uncertainty. The way I deal with it usually is to run through all the things that could happen and try and ‘plan’ for them. It’s just difficult not to dwell on the worst-case scenarios while we wait for him to have a full body scan…