**New** Mental Health Thread (2018/19 Rolling)

Definitely feeling a bit overwhelmed and stressed at the moment.

It got to the stage today where I had to ask my wife to leave the flat, just so I could sit in alone for a while.

This year could charitably be described as ‘tough’. My father-in-law died having been terminally ill for a number of years, beyond that my wife’s had some issues of her own. There are times that I’ve not been was supportive as I could be with exams etc, but I can’t take full responsibility for that.

The last couple of weeks it’s kind of come to a head though. There’s mounting life admin and concerns about money for the next year or two. My wife’s having surgery on Monday too.

But the main thing is that my dad’s got health issues of his own now. He’s been quite secretive about them, but my mum/sister were concerned enough that I made an unplanned trip back to Liverpool last weekend. He did eventually confide in me, though we’re still none-the-wiser while awaiting tests.

I’m more than aware that his symptoms could indicate something like cancer. I also have more than enough medical knowledge to know that honestly it really could be several other things, some of which are probably more likely.

Generally I just don’t deal well with uncertainty. The way I deal with it usually is to run through all the things that could happen and try and ‘plan’ for them. It’s just difficult not to dwell on the worst-case scenarios while we wait for him to have a full body scan…

Fifth day of taking Sertraline. Feel confused, exhausted, and sick. I appreciate these things can be a bit bumpy at first but I’d have thought it would have calmed down by now. Anyone else had this? It’s most unpleasant and quite debilitating.

I felt weird for a good week. When are you taking it? I found that taking it just before sleep… Like literally just before you’re ready to actually sleep… Worked best for me

Ok, so not completely abnormal. I’m taking it first thing in the morning, had considered trying in the evening so might attempt the way you did it. Cheers :+1:

Definitely give it a go. I found most of the weirdness then happened when I was asleep.

After a few weeks it all gets easier (unless they are not for you of course)

Have to say they have changed my life. Thought I was stuck with anxiety for life.

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Yeah, that was my working theory (weirdness happening during sleep) so may try. I do want to stick with them, need to get on top of the ol’ anxiety.

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Yeah, been on it for about six weeks now. Was a bit of a bumpy start too - lost my appetite, felt sick, got a bad stomach, was very tired. It evened out after about ten days.

I think it’s helping, though.

Hey guys.

What’s the best way to break the “I hate myself so I’m a cunt to everyone, then I feel bad and hate myself for being a cunt” cycle?

Have done it in the morning and HATED it. Just before sleep is best, its what im doing now and its not even messing up my sleep (what i was scared of)

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Sounds about right yeah.

One reason I went off antidepressants and will stay off them is that they always, always, caused me unpleasant dreams such that I never felt rested and also had an emotional hangover.

Plus all the other side effects.

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I had my worst nightmare on them, literally still can remmeber it and it was so unsettling and eerie and basically my worst fear.

for anyone curious, i was with my mum chatting when her eyes rolled back and she started seizing and i couldnt move to help other than scream and it was so realistic and horrible i literally woke up crying. First proper nightmare as an adult and how vivid it was is what made it so bas

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This is so hard, i was so mean to my family for a while. Honesty and a bit of distance helped

Yes, like that. It’s exhausting.

Sorry to hear all of this OSW. A lot of those things in isolation sound potentially overwhelming, never mind all together, so I’m not surprised you’re feeling it. I know there’s no easy solutions to any of this, but when I’ve been in a similar situation, carving out head room and space to reset your brain becomes vital.

I would have completely lost my mind over the last couple of years without being able to go out for a run or bash away at the piano for an hour on a regular basis. Hopefully you’ve got some form of escape that allows you to do the same. Take care man and all the best for your wife’s surgery and your dad’s test results.

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Cheers mate. I feel much, much better after having an evening to myself and a while day watching sports I have to say.

And you’re probably right too. Up until this past week I’d been carving some time out to go to the gym, go for a swim, etc. This week I’ve just not managed to push past the lethargy to go out. Probably a timely reminder that I should because I know it helps me.

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Made another load of shortbread (as in baking thread) with various toppings and brought them into work. Nobody has touched them. Anything brought in is usually completely gone by 11 at the latest (usually there would be two or three things brought in during a week). Don’t know if they look terrible, or if people think I’d be unhygienic, or if they just hate me :disappointed:

I know it seems ridiculously trivial, but other people bring baking in regularly and everyone tries it and they get nice comments. Nobody has even commented on them let alone shown any interest in trying.

It just feels like whenever I make an effort to be friendly with people and do ‘nice’ things that normal people do it fails completely. So my friendlessness isn’t coming from a lack of effort but because people actively dislike me. I feel so embarrassed and pathetic. I just want to take the tin and throw it in the bin.

I can’t bring myself to keep trying when I just end up being humiliated each time.

I think I just need to learn to accept it and try to live the happiest life I can alone.

It doesn’t sound trivial in the slightest, that sort of thing is really hurtful cause it feels so personal even if it isn’t.
I’m really sorry- a) that it’s happened in the first place and b) cause I don’t have anything to say that can help much. That being said, I can bet everyone on here would LOVE to devour your baking creations, I’m sure they’re delicious. And we’re all your friends, and we care about you loads, and love reading your posts and interacting with you. We actively want to be your online pals cause you’re bloody great xx

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Thank you, I was being hyper sensitive and fit a bit worked up over it. Everyone had one after lunch and said they were really good, some said they had been eyeing then earlier but didn’t want to be the first. So all good in the end and I think it has hopefully made me seem a little less aloof.

Unfortunately I now have another thing to stress about as I have just made my first dentist appointment (save an emergency extraction) in about 16 years :persevere:

Luckily still have a few diazepam left, so will take a couple before and save the rest for if I need treatment (spoiler alert: I will).

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Counselling!

(seriously)

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