**New** Mental Health Thread (2018)


#1

Following a vote (13 in favour out of 15), this is the new thread for talking about anything to do with our own mental health (old thread: How’s your depression? the word “depression” is in the title but people have opened up about a myriad of things over time).

I don’t think there are any particular rules or guidelines for posting…the last thread was a really helpful, compassionate place where it felt like everyone was genuinely trying to help each other. Having said that, there are a few points worth highlighting

  1. It had become universally accepted that things discussed in the previous thread were not to be brought up elsewhere on the boards (or anywhere, for that matter) except by the person disclosing.
  2. Alongside that…the thread works best as a safe space for discussing mental health struggles (or positive news, which there was also plenty of)…not a place for critical discussion.
  3. Finally…some things that require describing in this thread (for example graphic violence, suicidal ideation etc.) can be extremely stressful to read. Of course these things are still important to discuss…but if it is anything that might be considered difficult (remembering that many people come here during periods of heightened distress) please stick a content warning on and blur out any relevant text.

If I’ve left anything out or something needs changing, please just let some mods know. I’ll put a link in the old thread so things can gradually migrate over.

The old thread showed a really positive side of DiS, and was great help to me on numerous occasions. I hope this thread can be the same for many others :slight_smile:


How's your depression?
It's World Mental Health Day!
#2

Excuse me while I scream into the void for a moment.

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Ahem.

I hate that I automatically see the worst in anything someone says to/about me and even though I know I do it I’m still not able to stop myself from doing so.

Got myself mentally wound up this evening after a couple of drinks with a friend because Mrs Z asked where I was. In retrospect they’re completely innocuous questions on WhatsApp, but to my mind they were accusingly suggesting I was late and should be home. All in my head. Led to about an hour of self loathing and loss of appetite for dinner followed by an argument (now resolved I think). Completely unnecessary though and entirely caused by my own mental processes.

On an unrelated note, I also have a piece of wood litter in my left eye and it’s making it water something chronic, yet when I wanted to cry an hour or so ago, couldn’t shead a single tear, could I?!


#3

I find myself guilty of this all too often! There’s something about written text that is wholly unsuited to conveying all the subtleties of conversation that you get face to face…and that leads to a lot of jumping to conclusions on my part. When I’m able to take a step back and question whether I’m reading far too much into something, it helps, but that it isn’t always possible in a heightened emotional state!

I am glad that your example seemed to resolve itself later…hopefully that means your brain allows you to have a well-earned relaxing weekend :slight_smile:


#4

Really having trouble shaking a very low, dark mood. We moved to a new place a month ago and I feel like I just have t started living here yet. Everything’s still on pause. My other half suffers from GAD and agoraphobia so we haven’t really been out together anywhere yet.

I’ve been getting out to shops and a couple of job interviews but it’s still affecting me. I know I can’t really complain cause it’s worse for her and she’d be out if she could but I’m also not working yet and it’s affecting me having little to nothing to do all day and relying on borrowed money. I’m waiting to hear back from a job I had a trial for this week but I’m doubtful I’ll get it as I have very little product knowledge/experience in that type of retail. There are also some issues with our new flat, noise from outside, space issues etc that are really getting my wife down and as a knock on effect me. I feel like I’m moaning where I have no place to a bit but it upsets me that she’s not happy here yet.
I realise this isn’t anywhere near as serious as a lot of your posts here and I do feel like I’m making mountains out of molehills but it’s really starting to get me low again where I’d just got through a period of borderline depression before Christmas. Also, we don’t know anyone here yet really so I really just need to get this off my chest to people that aren’t directly involved of that makes sense. Me and my wife have discussed and talked it over so much it feels like we don’t talk about much else and we both know there’s not much we can do about it, it’s just hard. Ramble over.


#5

it’s totally ok to feel impacted by your partner’s mental health too. it’s someone you love and share your life with. it would be impossible not to.

it sounds like you’re both going through a really tough time at the moment and I really hope you get more settled and get a nice job with nice colleagues.


#6

Thanks DB. I’m sure it’ll start to get easier after a while. She’s got an interview for a place on a Masters course this week so if that goes well it’ll really help.


#7

This something that was expressed by a number of people on the previous thread. Whilst it’s hard NOT to think this (and in some ways it may be counterproductive too) there isn’t really any criteria for “deserving” or “undeserving” cases. If we look for them, there will always be someone in a worse situation, but that doesn’t mean we are undeserving of compassion ourselves

It feels like this reply is full of double negatives :grimacing:


#8

Does anybody else get frustrated with how fickle their self image appears to be?

What I mean is…I go through months, when the weather is poor, feeling okay about myself…I can actually look in mirrors and readily accepted my poor skin/misshapen body. Then the sun comes out…and every sight of my reflection makes me want to lock myself indoors and never come out. Can’t even post in the selfie thread…


#9

I definitely thrive in winter cause I feel I can cover up a lot. Then summer rolls round and I see everyone in their cute outfits with accessories and all sorts and I’m like a plain lump in a sack over here like “what happened?!”

I have tried LOADS recently to stop comparing myself to others but it’s so bloody hard!


#10

thought it might be good to post resources too

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/

http://self-care-club.tumblr.com/post/139740925552/giant-self-help-masterpost (sorry lots of these links are dead but some still there)

http://www.prevent-suicide.org.uk/find_help.html


#11

I find this difficult too :frowning:

I find buying nice new clothes that accentuate the things I like about myself helps but it’s really difficult when summer first starts and I am much more aware of my fatness and have to remember that my body is also beautiful


#12

Same :confused:


#13

I mean if I get this feeling without being a particularly objectified group in society…god knows what it’s like for others.

Your right though…if I didn’t look at all those shop adverts of perfect men


#14

So I agreed to go to a group psychotherapy thing that started yesterday, but due to some unfortunate miscommunication I hadn’t known until I got the proper appointment letter through that it was actually dance movement psychotherapy. I tried going but everything was so overwhelming, I pretty much ran out after 15 minutes because it was too much for me and I didn’t want to ruin it for the other people in the session.

I have felt really broken since that happened yesterday, like my brain is completely malfunctioning. It doesn’t help that things are really tense in my family at the moment and they don’t respond well when I have trouble communicating (stuttering a lot, repeating on a loop involuntarily or else going mute) so that makes it worse.

It all feels really impossible right now. I really wish I wasn’t living here but I don’t have anywhere to move yet, and even then I probably wouldn’t be able to cope without the help I get here. Really feels like I just can’t do life.


#15

pretty sure running away from this is the correct response FL. seems completely unreasonable that that is a thing that exists tbh. good luck to anyone it helps tho.

would it be possible to ask for a bit more compassion from your family? or just one of them?

i know those relationships can get weird and bitter as an adult living back at home, but in my experience an explicit little reminder about the fact that you’re struggling and need more from people can really work to flip that switch.

sorry if not.

hope you feel better soon.


#16

sorry things are really rotten for you right now buddy but you are doing a great job by getting out and going to these appointments, being social and trying your best for yourself and your family.

You can do life :slight_smile:


#17

Meow - you’re gorgeous x


#18

A lot of the problem I think is that my mum and brother are struggling a lot with their own stuff at the moment too. I don’t really know how to help them, I can barely look out for myself enough to keep functioning to look after R. I put everything I have into taking care of him, I don’t have anything left for anyone else (this is part why my marriage broke down, that and my ex had turned into a horrible, abusive ****).

Just feels very toxic here a lot of the time now, I really want to get out.


#19

that sounds really hard mate, & it’s a totally unfair expectation of yourself to help other people when you’ve got a littlun & are in a tough spot.

are you making moves to move out?

cant stop myself from suggesting that you try asking for a bit more support & less judgement even knowing your family’s issues. been in a similar spot with a few people in the house suffering under stuff, and having it asked of me was a big thing. you’d know best though.

aye, i’ve come to the conclusion that your ex is a fucking bellend tbh.


#20

Yeah, I am on the council waiting list for housing. They have a system where you ‘bid’ weekly on properties you are eligible for (if there are any) and it’ll tell you where in line you are. I have got into the top 20 bids for a couple of flats recently, maybe if I am very lucky I might get into somewhere at the tail end of the year. Will probably realistically be next year before I move though.

I did speak to my mum a bit and she was a bit more sympathetic, but the test will be if next time I have a meltdown she is like that or just shouts at me like normal :frowning: