This is how I deal with hairdresser small talk (although that is on a much smaller scale and not really comparable) - by coming up with all manner of identities/jobs/exploits. The only trouble is when I return to the same one…and have to remember who I am to them. Leads to unnecessary switching of my hairdresser.
Getting a haircut is stressful enough without having to do this!
are you me
depends which hairdresser you ask
starting to feel a wee bit of guilt and regret about not going back to Berlin but… I guess that’s natural?
Also the Scott Hutchison situation is really fucking me up
Shit I just googled that, doesn’t look good does it? So badly hope he turns up ok.
Yeah I think that’s normal. How long where you there?
A year, just under
Yeah it looks really bad, the signs are all pointing to a very awfully sad ending
I think it’s normal to have totally mixed feelings about leaving somewhere, despite the circumstances in which one left. There’s bound to be both good and bad memories tied up in a place, and I think this can make it difficult to reconcile yourself that you’re making the right decision, even if what you’re doing seems right in everyone else’s eyes. There are days when I 100% regret leaving Vienna, even though I know I couldn’t really have stayed without making my life miserable. It’s irrational, but part of the process, I think.
Had quite a good interview before. Got caught completely on the hop. Applied somewhere yesterday, they rang at about 3pm and asked me to come in at 5pm, which was a bit unortodox and i’d been feeling horrible. Went swimmingly, though. Couldn’t stop talking. Don’t think i’ll get the job as they pretty much wanted someone to start tomorrow, and i’d have had to cancel hospital appointments i’ve waited months for over the weekend, but telling myself that if it’s a place worth working that wouldn’t be an issue for them, and even if i didn’t get it it’s a nice confidence boost.
It’s really been grim and a bit humiliating being out of work and not able to work, to be honest. My job before wasn’t really that skilled but it was a managerial job, admitedly somewhere pretty entry-level and the pay was around 50% higher than the place i’ve interviewed for today. It’s so hard finding part-time work short of working in a bar, which i’m by no means against but not really got the personalty for. Trying to get regular 4-5 hour shifts anywhere’s tough, and sadly because i’ve been ill 8/10/12-hour shifts are a complete non-starter.
Anyway, i’ve got to have an MRI scan and colonoscopy in the coming week. My gut feeling is they’ll either tell me i’ve got some sort of serious liver problem (maybe a type of hepatitis, cirrhosis or a fatty liver, etc) or some sort of growth/blockage in my ascending colon. Hopefully it’s the latter rather than the former, short of…y’know. It’d be a huge weight off my shoulders if they could just tell me what’s wrong, it’s taken ten months to get to this stage.
It’s been such a horrible experience. A year or so ago i was seriously considering starting my own business or at least really stepping out of my comfort zone workwise, maybe even just sodding off abroad, but since Christmas i’ve basically been struggling to walk to the shops and going slowly mental. For now my realistic targets are just not being ill and dragging myself to some sort of unskilled part-time job.
More just trying to get something written down than in need of any more productive advice. Hard not to feel sorry for myself really, but never really gave much thought beforehand about how a dip in your physical and mental health can have such a serious impact so quickly. Keep telling myself that by the law of averages i’ve got to have a positive break at some point.
Hope you’re all doing alright.
You’re a really cool and lovely person and i hope we get to hang out
seriously you have so many good qualities x
love you all xx
I hope those tests get to the bottom of what is wrong and that it is something more easily treated. That hopefully will make looking after your mental health a bit easier too x
Feel like an absolute wanker tbh but thanks, kind words are nice.
Usually let them lead the conversation in these cases.
“So how’s working for MI6 going…?”
Only met you for 4 hours or so but you’re a properly good guy, mate. Hope everything works out for you.
Just want to echo what’s already been said in the Scott Hutchison thread on the music board.
If you are struggling, please reach out to someone. There are organisations you can call and talk to, or chat online with, or send an email to, about anything - you don’t have to be suicidal. The social board is always here for you too, and although we are not trained mental health professionals we can offer words of kindness and support. Please please please reach out.
Update from the previous thread if you saw it, was right before the cut off (serious illness spoilers):
Things are looking up a little bit. There’s a plan in place which gives us something to focus on. Further scans came back without showing that the cancer has spread at all, which is a massive relief, so they can go ahead with surgery next Friday. Then two weeks later we find out the scale of what further treatment she’ll need. Mentally we’re both coping better now that we know more about what needs to be done, and it’s being done. Still fucking shit, mind, but my wife is a rock hard total hero, so.
Would also like to echo previous comments about what a fab bunch of people there are here. Got an unsolicited PM from a total stranger which was probably the nicest thing I’ve ever read. Don’t feel I’m even remotely qualified to offer any advice to anyone else, but I’ll be reading every post in future.
Also, we’re experts in listening and caring about each other. My PMs are always open for anyone that wants to reach out to a friendly non-judgemental ear. x
good luck with the scans!
Don’t think I’ve ever posted on a mental health thread here as I feel like my problems aren’t as serious or worthy as everyone else’s but here goes.
There are times I feel really lonely. I haven’t had any friends living locally since I moved to Leeds 6 years ago and as I live so far from my old friends I don’t feel close enough to anyone to call them up for a chat, much less to see if someone wants to meet for a drink or something. The only person I call is my mum (out of duty rather than actually wanting to talk to her) and those conversations usually end with me getting silently furious for a number of reasons.
It’s got to the point where I’m not really sure how to make friends and then how to act around people when I think I’d get on with them. After a few CBT sessions for anxiety a couple of years ago I started making more of an effort to meet people, and I’ve joined a local group for young women to meet up socially which has helped as I’ve met some nice people, but it all feels a bit superficial at this point. I’m pretty good at small talk and first meetings but I find it hard to get past that first stage. I tried Bumble BFF for a bit but anxiety makes it hard to start and continue conversations so I’ve given up on it. Logically I know it’s not true but I feel like I’m too boring or weird to be likeable, I’m a chore to be around, and people only speak to me to be polite.
Not really looking for advice I guess, just needed to put my thoughts somewhere and don’t really have anyone I feel I can talk to about it.