Christmas party was last night but sadly my anxiety got the better of me. Dressing up is always a big problem for me, my weird body shape makes it so difficult to get anything that fits, and I always look off in some way or other. Felt like I was on the verge of a panic attack from the moment I started getting dressed, to the moment I left the party early having spent four torturous hours trying to interact with people, hating myself and feeling so deeply unattractive and gross.
Feeling pretty crappy this morning too but a bit better. Just desperately wish I could let myself go and enjoy myself like a normal person.