**New** Mental Health Thread (2018)


#281

This sounds really, truly hectic, and I have no doubt that anyone, whoever they are would struggle with juggling all this. It’s hard to suggest what will help, cause as you say, you’ve still got a load of stuff going on. All I can offer in the way of advice is (and this might sound really lame, but I find works when things get on top of me) to try and combine the eating right thing with a bit of ‘you’ time. If there is the opportunity in your evening/day then just spending an hour or half even focusing on making something you know you’ll enjoy and might be a bit intricate or require all your attention might help. Going through all the things you need to get done in order of priority and postponing the least important in favour of this might work with the time constraints of your schedule. I know when my wife was getting overwhelmed with degree work and moving house etc, fitting time to bake something into the list really helped her focus on herself for a while.
Again, I’ve rambled here but hope it helps. The situation with work sounds really shitty. Just remember we’re always here to listen to you vent or rant or let off steam.


#282

i have had 3 counsellors. one was helpful for 15 y/o me but i only had her for 2 months before she moved away. one was a free counsellor who i was advised to speak to about my sex phobia (psycheeee, doesn’t that make a lot of stuff make sense to everyone now) - she was absolutely diabolical and told me that men would like me because i wasn’t a slut, and that i should read erotic novels. christ. saw her once, never went again because i thought i could sort it out myself. partly did, but partly not. wonder how much sooner that whole thing could’ve been sorted with a good counsellor.

my last one was a ‘pay what you can’ one. while there was some cliched stuff (i am quite reciprocal to that tbh), he never told me what to do. he could suggest things but would never do so in a forceful or overbearing way. he was incredibly helpful at getting me to just talk, then asking a question to unpick some of what i’d said, and doing that until it felt like we’d untangled a problem. even though my immediate issues were resolved within 6 months, i ended up seeing him for 2 years and only left because there was a waiting list and i didn’t really need it any more.

i got extremely lucky to find a counsellor whose style suited my personality and with whom i had a really good rapport. having spoken to a lot of friends about their experiences, it comes down to right counsellor + your own openness to opening up. sadly i know far more people who have struggled with the former than the latter.


#283

Maaate. I don’t know if it’s what you want to hear, but that’s faaar too much to be taking on. I accepted a voluntary redundancy around New Year, but before that i’d come home after an eight hour day mentally and physically shattered. It does you in. Studying on top of that would destroy me, then your hobby as well.

I appreciate it must be tricky, but you’ve got to find a balance - either drop one of those things for the sake of the other two or cut down a bit on all three. Could you afford to go part-time? Is there any way of completing your studies over a longer period? Could you temporarily scale back on the tournaments whilst you finish your studies? (think it’s cool as fuck that you’re so passionate about that, btw)

Good luck with it.


#284

Sitting in my car in the work car park. My lunch break is over but I can’t bring myself to go back in. Still haven’t been given any actual work to do and when i ask I’m just told to read document x/y/z and I’m not sure I can take much more reading. Just want to start my car and drive home.


#285

hello pm, hope you’re ok. unfortunately not having any work to do and having a lot of documents to read can be a feature of new jobs, but things will get better. can you have a chat with your manager about what your workload is going to be like for the next few weeks and what you can do with your down time? are there people you can sit with to learn about what they do, for example, or even busy-work like stuffing envelopes or chucking away out of date stuff in the fridge, so you at least feel like you’re doing something?


#286

thinking about getting into origami


#287

I think it depends on how you get on with them. Me and gf had counselling and didn’t feel like we got owt out of it (although she did look like someone we work with who is a notorious dummy, so whenever she suggested summat we were like yeah whatever Shona, wtf do you know), but now gf’s found a therapist she gets on really well with and she’s really seeing the benefits. This ones got a therapy cat who comes and sits on yer knee when it decides you need it


#288

Gonna have to wait for a bit for some health checks. To give an idea of how bad my health anxiety is: I regularly convince myself I have HIV and that the negative blood test results are probably just a mistake. When I get a cold or something I actually sometimes think it’s AIDS. So yeah a lump in a funny place and a slightly concerned doctor is gonna make me really worry until I know exactly what it is. Feel bad cause it’s probably nothing.


#289

Health anxiety or not, that would worry anyone DB. Sounds like a really horrible situation to be in to have to wait after the doctor has voiced concerns, and it’s natural to be stressed or anxious about it. I hope you have people around you to help ease that anxiety and support you while you wait, and I really really hope you’re right and it turns out to be nothing.


#290

Heyyy, meant to reply last week but was busy.

I have a really good friend in Leeds who sometimes moan’s about not having enough friends in Leeds so could try ‘set you up’ or just invite you out next time I’m back, or something. There’s a slight chance you may be in the same group thing.

I’m in a similar position and losing 2 friends to other cities in the next couple of months so been doubting myself whether I should have decided to stay.

Obviously when I move back Leeds way, I will be your friend (if you want) :slight_smile:


#291

That’s really kind, thanks :slightly_smiling_face:


#292

I get like this quite a lot. At the moment there’s about three things I’m ignoring that I sort of think might be cancer that will kill me by the end of the year. Every time I’ve got stuff checked it’s turned out to be nothing but for some reason that doesn’t really change the way i react, just always waiting for an excuse to worry about something I guess.

Hope everything is ok for you and your health


#293

I really can’t cope anymore.


#294

i’m so sorry that you’re feeling this way, fl. i know i’ve said it countless times before but it’s worth saying again that i (and so many others here) think you cope astonishingly well with everything you’ve got going on.

i know it can be difficult to see and acknowledge yourself
sometimes, but r is extremely fortunate to have such a dedicated and caring mum, and this is something that i’m sure he will recognise and appreciate more and more as he gets older.

be kind to yourself, please. you’re doing brilliantly.


#295

I am currently sitting crying on a tree stump and I really don’t want to go home. R is with my mum so he is safe. I can’t deal with reality sitting here wishing a could just become this tree, because at least then I could have a simple existence of being a tree which will be cut down because it is in the way of a development.


#296

I really am going to have to go home very soon and that is scaring me so much.


#297

what specifically about going home is scaring you?

do you have any sort of emergency mh contacts who you might be able to speak to, or would you not really be able to cope with that rn?

my pms are always open if that’s any help at all :slight_smile:


#298

If you ever want to take a break up north then you’re very welcome to come visit (with or without R). Train fares are probably horrible though.


#299

Invitation applies to anyone on DiS btw. A DiSer once invited me to stay at theirs many years ago when I felt I would go crazy if I didn’t get away from where I was and it kind of saved me.


#300

Just been thinking about my past, it’s incredible that I am here today. For years I could do nothing in my spare time but pace around the house, go for endless walks and feel a deep permenant loneliness and sorrow.

Things aren’t perfect now of course, I must be vigilant but it’s incredible that I can have a level of happiness sometimes and fulfilment in life. Many times I had thought about ending my life.

To anyone suffering out there, please carry on for just one more day! Your life is worth living and I truly believe any situation can improve.

Sending much love and compassion to all of you x