**New** Mental Health Thread (2018)


#321

think I speak for everyone when I say you’re absolutely welcome to post in this thread. what you’re going through sounds like really fucking hard work, pal.

idk how important this MA is to you, or what the procedure would be for getting back in if you dropped out, but it really sounds like you could do with being around your family/support networks. is it an option to move back home asap? edit- sorry, assuming there are support networks in place at home, not always the case is it.

it’s appalling how underfunded the nhs are but my experience of the people working in acute mental health services has been uniformly brilliant… had a couple of members of my family go through something similar to yourself in the past few years (including a struggle to get a diagnosis/treatment until things were very very bad). if you can’t get treatment as an out patient there’s always the option of a secure unit.

edit -

I’ve had people pull me up on being too enthusiastic about inpatient treatment before, so take this with the caveat that my opinion is second hand & anecdotal, but if it’s between really hurting yourself and being in a secure unit I think the latter is the obvious answer.

hope it doesn’t come to that obviously, and that you can get some answers/treatment. look after yourself. x


#322

If you come back and share the experiences you’re going through I would imagine you’d have a crisis team around you fairly quickly - they keep you in touch with reality pretty much day to day, and while their words might not have a huge impact when measured against your experiences, just them being there as tokens of a clinical perspective can be a counterbalance that keeps things in check. Have you had any discussions about early psychosis prevention teams etc? I think they’re pretty important because recovery is draining in a different way, and the less of that you have to do the better. But your post shows loads of insight so maybe that’s what the docs see and don’t feel too much urgency as a result. Problem is that becomes more and more of a battle and they don’t see the work involved. If you’ve been toning it down I’d be a bit more forthcoming. Also keep persevering with the pills. You might not feel like they’re working, but they can be extremely subtle. You can always try other medication if you reckon it’s really not right for you. Anyway, this all comes from my own tiny personal corner of existence, and I guess the point I’m trying to make, without trying to be all scaremongery, is that I would use whatever I could to improve my mental health because it is finite and you have to look after it. Don’t hesitate.


#323

ugh got a really bad case of the I hate myselfs today

need to stop binge drinking


#324

:frowning: hugs to you, go treat yourself or do something nice


#325

sorry to hear this, db. you’re a top person who has been incredibly supportive to me and countless others over the years, not to mention working tirelessly to make these boards a better and more welcoming place. we’re lucky to have you here.

as @ghostpony said, try and do something nice this evening. be kind to yourself, you’re doing just fine.


#326

Started writing something but then htba has just basically said everything that needs saying @DarwinBabe On a personal note, you’ve been nothing but supportive and compassionate towards me in this thread (and others), it’s meant a lot, so you’ll always get it back.


#327

also, sorry for not replying sooner, but thanks @Flashinglight, @MartyFunkhouser, @froglet and @Severed799 for your support the other day. i’ve had a reasonably productive day today making a start on packing and so on, and i’m trying to focus on the positives as far as possible.

you’re all great :slight_smile:


#328

Glad to hear you’re feeling more positive mate. It’ll all work out for the best, I really think that.


#329

I can barely leave the house the day after drinking alcohol, even if just moderate amounts. Horrible, constantly negative thoughts and catastrophising. Only ways i’ve ever dealt with it is drinking again, sleeping or doing really weird repetative stuff like constantly refreshing Twitter or writing lists. Struggle to hold a conversation or make eye contact with people. Not worth it really.


#330

yeah for days after I always feel really awful

why I do it every Friday night I really dont know


#331

Keep thinking about booking an appointment with the uni counsellor about (possible) social anxiety. The thing I’m kind of worried about is that I’ll book the appointment on a day when I’m feeling really down about it, but then end up going on a day when I’m feeling more or less fine about it, and finding it tougher to properly articulate all the mountain of stuff I’d want to say


#332

Keep a diary of your thoughts on your bad days. Even if you feel embarrassed to read them aloud you could let the counsellor read them maybe?


#333

This is exactly what I did when I first went to the GP and to see my therapist, although for slightly different reasons… I was worried I was going to burst into tears and be unable to talk. Didn’t need it in the end, but it was very helpful to know I had the crutch if necessary.


#334

Sorry for the late reply, I’ve been trying to think of a meaningful way to reply all day/enjoying the sun, but basically: thanks a bunch, this is really lovely!

The MA isn’t too important, and it’s very easy to defer the second year - the final deadline for this semester is the 28th so not too long to go anyway. I can easily go back to my mum’s, which I’m planning to do pretty soon, mid-June or so, which is when my lease here ends. Definitely support from her at least, which should help! Frustrating that it’s come to this, and I have all the usual concerns about moving back home, but as echoed upthread by those returning too, sometimes these things are for the best.

Yeah, I’ve never managed to get properly seen even when things have been pretty bad with depression and stuff in the past, which adds to my concern this time. Though I fully believe if/when I do get seen the staff will no doubt be amazing! Inpatient treatment is terrifying, and I suspect I’d feel like a huge fraud, but I do agree if things reach a limit it would be the best option for sure, and it isn’t something I’ve really thought about before so I’ll keep it in mind.

Lastly, just thanks again, this is all great advice, and your edits and reservations show real care and thought. This cheered me right up when I read it last night! Yr all ace x


#335

Hi

Just wanted to say that inpatient treatment isn’t as bad as it might seem. From my experience, they’ll pump you full of sedatives (antipsychotics and benzos) and you’ll spend your days seeing doctors, having therapy, doing crafts, going for short walks, and playing simple games with other patients. Food kinda sucks (take snacks if you are allowed, the meds make you hungry - we were also allowed to order in food if we asked) and it can be boring and visiting times are very limited (no one actually came to visit me either, lol). Take books, colouring books, puzzle books, etc - my place didn’t allow laptops but did allow phones, I know some places don’t though. That said, it’s the best place to get calm and reset and assess how best to go about long term treatment.

I hope you get the best and most appropriate treatment for you. Good luck!


#336

Thanks a million for this, sorry it’s taken me a while to reply! Been working out a proper response, but as with @tricklenipple’s post this is just so nice to read.

I’d hope that would be what happens - the main issue I’ve been having so far, both in Denmark and the UK is actually getting anybody to listen to me. All they really seem to see or care about is the tremors and shaking and stuff, and they barely acknowledge the psychosis side of things at all, it took me almost three months to get my GP here to pay attention and that was only because I wasn’t twitching at the beginning of one appointment. So I suspect, as you say, that I must have been toning it down, which needs correcting. It’s extremely difficult to articulate things when they aren’t currently happening/just happened, so perhaps I underplay them, I’m not sure. This does mean that I haven’t really seen any psychosis prevention people at all, and I’m only on what the GP can prescribe, which by his own admission is a pretty low dose, so hopefully if I work on that I can get far more treatment. But you’re right, with persevering through, it is a matter of keeping on trying, these things do always take an awful long time. You aren’t scaremongery in the slightest, and you are entirely right, I should push harder in my appointments to get more help and stuff. Once again cheers, this is great advice, and I hope everything’s OK with you. Night walks rule x


#337

That’s probably a good shout. Maybe try to make note of a few examples.

I’d probably be embarrassed saying that some of the rubbish feelings are because of a total lack of love life, which seems like a lame-ishly teenage thing to bring up in a counselling session.


#338

I gave up boozing because of exactly this. Hard at first but after a week or so it felt normal and good! I feel clearer, less hateful of myself, less full of doom.

Now I’m scared of drinking again tbh!


#339

cheers for saying that, those edits came from me looking back at my original post and swearing i was never gonna give any advice ever again! find i too easily try to draw direct comparisons to my own experience of this stuff when there are obviously gonna be all sorts of differences…

one of the big ones is that you seem very self aware about the situation, whereas the people in my life were in pretty bad denial about things - that might make outpatient treatment more viable or effective, cause you obviously really want to get things under control and maybe don’t need that enforced regime. but yeah, as gp says as a last resort i’ve seen inpatient treatment be a really good thing.

i think like cervantes says upthread if you’re forecful about your symptoms there’ll be more of an instant response to the psychosis related stuff than you got for depression, which says something bad about how prevalent depression is, and our treatment of it, but will be of benefit to you now, which is the main thing.

really hope you can get along the path to treatment bud. x


#340

One of the biggest barriers to getting counselling in the first place is shame/fear/embarrassment that what you are feeling is not important or worthy of discussion. Any half decent counsellor should absolutely be expecting this and will accept what you say without offering any judgement. You have legitimate concerns and you’re entitled to try and deal with them so you can move forward. Relationships are fundamentally important so of course it is going to cause anxiety if this area of your life is not going the way you need it to. If the help is available, take it.

I would agree to write some things down when you’re feeling anxious and then refer back to them in the session if your mind goes blank. It probably won’t though, you’ll probably find that just having someone to talk to about it will make it all come out in one go.