**New** Mental Health Thread (2018)


#381

doesn’t matter if it’s trivial - if it causes a meltdown then this is very much the thread :slight_smile:

weirdly your post made remember that the opposite can happen as described brilliantly in this piece - the bit near the end (it’s a really long piece but it’s excellent) about having a laughing fit because there was a piece of sweetcorn on the floor


#382

Really pleased you’ve settled PM. Hope all goes better next time you try and sort it :slight_smile:


#383

Another vote here for Griefcast, I haven’t lost anyone myself but my best friend just lost her mum and her dad’s on the way out so I wanted to try and have some way of getting an idea of what she’s going through so I can be there for her if/when she needs me.

One theme that comes up a lot though is that for the first year or so it’s an achievement to get out of bed in the morning, it takes a very long time to process and a year ago is definitely not too late to get counselling.


#384

Just to come back to Griefcast (again), one of the things they mention that people often get wrong is to not bring up the person for the reason you’ve just mentioned, often friends avoid the subject because they think it will be upsetting, when a lot of the time what people want to do when they’ve lost someone is be able to talk about them and keep the memories alive.


#385

It might be worth trying again when you’re ready because I honestly think that a decent therapist would be able to help you let go of this, you’re not necessarily stuck with this feeling forever.


#386

I agree totally, but to add the obvious, therapy is a totally personal thing, so at the same time, don’t feel you have to stick with it if it’s really not working for you x


#387

Of course, which is why I said ‘when you’re ready’ :slight_smile:


#388

I should read better :smile:


#389

Do any of you know of any charities that help ill people find paid work?

I’ve had a look online but haven’t found much. The stuff i’ve found’s for long term benefit claimants, etc.

I’m getting into quite a tricky spot in that i’m too ill to hold down even a regular part-time job, but the cause of my symptoms still hasn’t been found so i’ve not applied for any financial help, but bills and that still need paying.

There must be loads of people out there in my position who have serious but undiagnosed and intermittent problems that prevent them holding down jobs. Surely there’s got to be some sort of ad-hoc paid work available for people?


#390

The assessments for employment and support allowance seem very focused on symptoms and how your illness or disability limits your capacity to function in certain ways, I don’t think not having a specific diagnosis would lessen your chances of receiving it, if you wanted to try and apply. Sorry I don’t have any more useful advice on the jobs front.


#391

I feel so desolate and alone.


#392

You’re not alone FL xxx


#393

I also feel desolate and alone, so at least we can feel desolate and alone together?


#394

PM is also awesome, please try and hang in there xxx


#395

I think I have finally reached the point where my hair loss is so bad that I can no longer effectively hide it.

this means that my self-esteem is shot. it means that I can’t even create the illusion of an okay looking person, and everything that goes with that.

and as I have said before, that means I can’t be happy. at all. that’s it, for the rest of my life.

I was so supposed to be seeing this girl I’ve been talking to this coming weekend, but I will have to cancel that.

the weather is so beautiful this month, but it will pass me by like all other summers since my early twenties.

feels completely pointless rambling on. that’s it, in all aspects of my life. I’m stuck like this until I die. which I would just skip to today, if I wasn’t terrified of dying and so desperate to be alive and happy.

this will seem over the top. people might respond in ways that suggest there is hope for me, but there isn’t.


#396

I literally don’t know what to do now. right at this moment or with my life.


#397

Shaw Trust might be able to help. Also have a look on www.turn2us.org

I agree that you should apply for PIP.


#398

I can’t imagine how hard it must be losing your hair, especially if you feel it’s part of your identity. Might it be a good idea to cut it shorter and work up to shaving it? Loads of girls find guys with shaved heads really attractive so don’t stop talking to that girl!


#399

i dont think hiding away is the right idea. some things just are inevitable and if this is one of those then so be it.

in all honesty, ita not that big of a deal. youre a good looking lad. its not going to make a difference.

im not saying to do this, but if I was going bald I would probably shave it off and then see what works for me. why not ask a couple of the people who are bald here for tips ?


#400

@shes_so_high @TKC I tried that, autumn before last. I looked awful. it wasn’t even like low self-esteem, it was like I was a non-entity. I wore a hat all the time and I barely left the house.

I also have a few patches of psoriasis that I have always been able to cover.

i’s hard to express how intrinsic my hair is to my self-esteem, any positive idea of myself that I have. I was very badly bullied in school and a lot of that was due to my hair. I can write that much, but I cannot convey how deep it goes and why, in terms of my identity, my feelings about gender, and so on.