**New** Mental Health Thread (2018)


#863

Lads I have just utterly lost all my confidence in socialising, going out and even just doing things. I thought working part time would mean I could do more but tbh I end up staying in bed, reading or watching tv for four days a week.

Really struggling with being fat in this heat as well As my body image in general. I worked a lot to not hate myself, but it’s all been undone.

And I feel isolated from my best friends because I hardly see them or speak to them. Last time I saw some of them, I was wracked with nerves and felt like I was just saying all the wrong things. I dunno. Just feel like a talentless, lazy, gobby old blob leaking sweat everywhere. And that’s before I start thinking about maybe starting dating.

Sorry this is just a bit of a brain dump, job-wise everything seems settled so I’m now focusing on my self hatred :roll_eyes:


#864

i know a lot of you are dealing with the ill health of, or grief from the loss of family members, and i really don’t want to suggest this is parallel to that, but i didn’t want to carry on being a downer in the cat thread either. so i’m going to post this here.

my cat had a rapid decline in health and i had her put to sleep yesterday morning. extraordinarily down about it.

i know it maybe says something bad about me that one of the most important relationships in my life is with a cat but yknow, fuck off. i find people hard work & my cat was the best. everytime I felt down or stressed she’d cheer me up. spent like 80% of my time in the house either sat on me or next to me & trying to sit on me.

she didn’t really like anyone else I’ve lived with either, was just me and her. as a needy weirdo this was important for some reason.

she had a pretty long and good life and her death wasn’t painful so I feel like I shouldn’t be as hurt as I am… but when my response to any sadness for the last decade and a half was to lie on my bed with her purring on my chest it’s difficult to not feel grim.

not really looking for suggestions or sympathy, just nice to write things down sometimes innit.


#865

I’m so sorry to hear about your cat. Pets are the absolute best and I completely understand - as I’m sure most people here would. It sounds like you were both very fortunate to have had each other in your lives.


#866

That sucks bro.

I cried my eyes out when my best friend’s cat died about 10 years ago, felt pretty pathetic at the time. But pets can be so stabilising, right?

Hope you start to feel a bit better soon.


#867

I know how you feel. I’m having a bit of a crisis of confidence at the moment myself and broke down to my bf last week where I admitted that I’m feeling really quite lonely.

I don’t really have any advice if I’m honest otherthan arranging something fun with your friends who don’t live close. A night away or something will give you something to look forward to and hopefully when the time comes, you will not be so nervous. Maybe organising something you like to do or enjoy or something that gives you confidence?

As for the weight thing, I don’t have anything to add there other than you’re soooo gorge and have such lovely clothes in all your Friday selfies! I’m always envious of what you’ve got on. I hope you can get your mojo back…hopefully when the weather cools down. I don’t wanna wear anything other than a vest or pj shorts inside in front of the fan. Hardly been out in the sun tbh I hate being hot and I don’t like showing a lot of my body so I’m hibernating!


#868

I was completely devastated when my cat Pumpkin died suddenly. We’d only had her a year (adopted her when she was 8) but she was just my everything!

It’s normal to feel really lost without a pet but you will get through that and look back on the fond times you had with them. And you did the most loving thing letting them go when they’re not well enough to continue x


#869

Second what meowigton says, I always thought you dress so well and as someone who is overweight and wears baggy black clothing lost of the time, I find your style so cool and wish I could dress like that (but I have no taste and still dress like I did in sixth form). I totally get what you mean as well, in winter people can hide in coats but in the summer we have to get stuff out and there’s nowhere to hide. So many times I was like…lmao I’m not getting my legs out…and would swelter in tights all day :roll_eyes: but anyway you look great so dw!!
Edit - when I feel like this doing stuff like sleepovers or hanging out in friends houses where I can basically wear pyjamas is always good, there isn’t that pressure and it’s a lot more comfy


#870

Sorry about your cat, it’s totally ok and valid to feel sad about a pet, they can be worth more in our lives to us than most people and end up as part of the family, it’s so lovely to be “chosen” by an animal that technically can fuck off whenever they want but choose to stay because they love us. Hope you feel better soon tricklenipple


#871

@dingaling

Lol I have one pair of shorts that still fit me (since I put on weight) that I have been wearing every weekend since May it feels like

Also for work I only have about 5 summer outfits that fit me that I rotate. In the industry I work in clothes/image are super important so you can just imagine what my colleagues’ wardrobes are like… although they are nice people and I’m sure only judge me a tiny bit for my lack of style/different outfits.

Also I don’t want to buy any new clothes because all my salary goes on rent and I keep thinking I’ll lose that 10kg sometime soon and be able to fit into all my beautiful clothes again…

But I’m sorry you feel the way you do. Being body conscious is a horrible feeling. I hope you’re back on your feet soon and feeling like you can take on the world (which you can!) :slight_smile:


#872

@meowington @ghostpony @jazzballet

Thanks so much guys, and I’m sorry you’re all struggling too. <3

@tricklenipple I’m so sorry about your cat. And like others have said our pets are our family, we see them every day and have such a close relationship with them, plus there’s the aspect of actually caring for them day in day out. It is as (and sometimes even more) devastating to lose them. It’s 8 months on from losing my cat and I still struggle - in fact reading your posts in the week brought it all back to me and I cried a lot thinking about what you must be going through. I hope you’ve got some folks in real life to help you through it <3


#873

thx m8. sorry about your cat and for bringing up some bad memories.

i think that post was so defensive cause i don’t have that, or i reached out to the wrong people and stopped looking. went for an emergency beer with my dad after i took her in and he told me i was being soft (he’s not a mean person but he grew up on a farm and has a different relationship to animals), then my mate who i can normally talk to about stuff just kept telling me to get another pet straight away. wasn’t into that.

so thanks @PocketMouse @ghostpony @meowington @jazzballet @dingaling

i wouldn’t really care if someone did think i was overreacting but it’s nice to know people feel the same way. this has helped me out.

i’m just going through all the photos i’ve got of her now, gonna make a big collage or something.


#874

Sorry to hear that pal. :crying_cat_face:
I know what you mean about being so attached to them, both ours are massive stress relievers for me. I’ve had a pretty horrible start to 2018 with various news, and I’m pretty anxious socially so I admit im turning into one of those crazy attached cat people. I’m dreading when Gizmo passes.

Thinking of you pal. Feel free to post about her in the cat thread.


#875

thanks mate, been a pretty rough year on my end too.

it’s obvious (& lovely) how much your lads mean to you from your posts off here, hope youve got some more good time with gizmo yet & you manage ok when the time comes.


#876

Yeah, I’m pretty much fucked. Not sure where I go from here.


#877

Please know that you are absolutely not fucked. I can guarantee it. There are always solutions and there’s always help. If there’s anything at all I can do please please let me know. I think you are so admirable and wonderful and it’s so unfair that you should feel bad about yourself.


#878

This is how I feel towards you too, PM x


#879

Just to back up what PM says, quite frankly I think you’re doing an amazing job dealing with the hand of cards you’ve been dealt. You seem like a really caring and loving mother who’s doing the best possible for R, you function pretty damn well given your issues discussed here and in the neuro-atypical thread and I don’t think there’s a single person on DiS who wouldn’t include you in the category of “gbol”.

I know life is super hard at times and there’s many things that for the likes of me that are normal/easy that are super hard for you, but I honestly believe you’re capable of getting past those, even if it needs time and/or the support of those around you or even just the likes of us sometimes.

As always, try and look after yourself FL. x


#880

Generally feeling better but having what is hopefully a very short miserable spell. Got a few illnesses at the moment including a bad sprain and a cold and loads on at work. Its barely even Tuesday and I’m physically desperate for the weekend.

This is really just a moan but this thread is such a comforting and reassuring space x


#881

Hey DB, that load sounds bad enough for anyone. Constant illness and work is such a grinder :frowning:

Hope it improves soon but obviously take a day off sick and relax if you can? It’ll be the best thing for killing the cold (and obviously not giving a sprain grief).


#882

Thanks T. I would call in sick but I did a few weeks ago and it’s a new job. This week is also crazy. Was in till 8 last night and probably will be tonight too. We have reports to major funders due.