**New** Mental Health Thread (2018)


#943

The hardest bit for me is I can know something to be true on a rational level, but the irrational part of me won’t allow me to actually believe it - especially hard for me as I’ve always seen myself as a largely rational person (I tend to hide emotions).

I’m starting to catch myself with this stuff, but it’s a long learning process.


#944

Yeah those irrational thoughts are really really ingrained but recognising they’re not rational is a big step and you CAN change - we’re not stuck with who we are (which is why I hate all of those bloody Marilyn Monroe type quotes).

It’s hard work but it does work and it does get easier, eventually it can become instinctive My first instinctive reaction these days is much more likely to be ‘it’ll probably all be fine’ rather than ‘this is all going to go horribly WRONGso don’t even try’, which I never would have thought possible five years ago.


#945

I think what can happen is that if your first instinct is irrational and you can spot it and counter with something more rational then it feels awkward and silly, but although that irrational thought still comes first for a while it gets quieter and quieter until the rational thoughts which felt weird at first, have become the instinctive ones.


#946

This is encouraging. I have made strides towards this in some areas (eg I’m now considering going back to education, previously I thought ‘nah you’re too thick Jack’) so hopefully I can change things around with my relationships. Glad you’ve managed it!


#947

Well I’m a work in progress :slight_smile:. I used to be more negative and not try new things but now I think ‘try it, see what happens’, and when you have mounting evidence that things usually go okay or better than expected, it gets quite hard to still be negative because of all the evidence to the contrary. Then you find good things happen unexpectedly because you’re more open to them.

Be kind to yourself though, it can be a slow process and there may be setbacks. Falling back into old patterns can be really, really hard because it feels like all your good work is undone but it’s not - sometimes you’ll have bad days but that’s okay, you’ll get better at it and those days will get further apart.

Most of my issues come from my family (surprise), and I thought I had come to accept who they are and what our relationship is (it’s not good, but I have to accept what it is rather than be angry about what it isn’t), but recently I went to a wedding which reminded me of all the shit things about my family, I had no support there and I felt like I was 15 again and it’s really really hard to realise they can still make me feel like that. Those days can be the hardest when you thought you had dealt with it all. But at least now I know and I will try and deal with it better next time.


#948

i don’t stutter but i speak too fast and trip over my words a lot, not even just with public speaking but often when speaking to anyone who’s not a close friend or family. i could do with learning to slow down and take my time.


#949

yeah i do the same when im a bit anxious


#950

Quick update for those who are interested, whilst I’m waiting for quiz answers.

My wife had the second round of chemo yesterday. First round, she got readmitted to hospital immediately as she was throwing up constantly. They got on top of that with various drugs, and after that she was (touch wood) more or less fine. Was doing 5 mile runs a week later.

Second round was much better, no sickness, seems to be doing great, fingers crossed. 4 to go, but the biggest hurdles are either out of the way or seem to have shrunk considerably.

In short: :thumbsup:.


#951

Fingers crossed for you both!!


#952

i properly mess up jokes to workmates sometimes cos of that :frowning:


#953

yep, ruin 100% killer anecdotes all the time by stumbling over my words


#954

my mum stutters a little bit at the end of sentences sometimes, it’s never really seemed like an impediment or something that gets to her (from my view, don’t know about hers) and don’t remember ever seeing anyone draw attention to it ever, but it tends to happen right at the punchline of a story and dampens the effect. i think that’s the only time it really happens though.


#955

I get this sometimes with punchlines or payoffs to stories, reckon it’s the knowing that everyone’s attention is focused on you for that moment. ramps up the pressure.


#956

Your wife sounds amazing. Really hope things stay positive for you guys.


#957

She’s an absolute colossus. She was up at 1am last night trying to comfort our daughter who couldn’t sleep and was feeling sick because of the heat, until I MADE her go back to bed and let me take over.


#958

Wee update… she’s been away with friends this weekend, and she’s off to Italy with friends next weekend, so an excellent double test to see if I can manage without freaking out.

Answer: not really, no, but I’m probably better than I was at least. Four days until I see a therapist and can’t wait to get going, I’d love to clear this shit up once and for all and move on.


#959

Hopefully any improvement is a good thing and something you can use as a basis to start from in your first sessions.

Look after yourself mate


#960

Really struggling to get out of bed this morning, the thought of even the mundane things that I need to do is filling me with terror. Last night I felt so physically sick from the amount of mental pain I was in, I wanted to cut so badly, I just wished I could be gone.

Not really asking for help, just had to get some of this out. I feel so ashamed feeling like this.


#961

So sorry to hear you’re feeling like this FL, wish there was more I could do to help but please please just know that you’re a lovely, wonderful person who is doing an amazing job of raising your son in what sound like really difficult circumstances. There’s no shame in feeling your feelings, I just really hope they pass soon and you can get to a better MH place. We’re all here for you all the time, please remember that.


#962

so hard to seperate your current situations from the way your brain chemicals are making you feel. something I’m trying to work on again, mindfulness-wise.