Well I’m a work in progress . I used to be more negative and not try new things but now I think ‘try it, see what happens’, and when you have mounting evidence that things usually go okay or better than expected, it gets quite hard to still be negative because of all the evidence to the contrary. Then you find good things happen unexpectedly because you’re more open to them.
Be kind to yourself though, it can be a slow process and there may be setbacks. Falling back into old patterns can be really, really hard because it feels like all your good work is undone but it’s not - sometimes you’ll have bad days but that’s okay, you’ll get better at it and those days will get further apart.
Most of my issues come from my family (surprise), and I thought I had come to accept who they are and what our relationship is (it’s not good, but I have to accept what it is rather than be angry about what it isn’t), but recently I went to a wedding which reminded me of all the shit things about my family, I had no support there and I felt like I was 15 again and it’s really really hard to realise they can still make me feel like that. Those days can be the hardest when you thought you had dealt with it all. But at least now I know and I will try and deal with it better next time.