**New** Mental Health Thread (2018)


#963

yeah when i get really bad anxiety (as opposed to just my usual low level nerves) it’s nearly always based around focusing far too intently on things and possibilities that are really very far off in the future. there’s really little need to be concerned with them to such an extent right now but it can be so hard to switch off those thoughts.

thankfully i don’t get it to that level very often, but had a little bit of it lately


#964

I thought about it last night during a bar shift. I realised that they were always going to make me feel p. dreadful and that I needed to not feel bad on top of that by acknowledging these effect and just… depressuring after, trying to gee myself up by seperating those bad feelings from reality.

I mean, easier said than done, obvs. but if I can compartmentalise those bad feelings from how I feel about myself, that’s a massive step

same goes for you and those fears, maybe? being able to somehow set them aside and just be like… okay, that is what it is, and I don’t have to let it eat away at me?


#965

yeah, for me they’re usually triggered by certain events and circumstances, and tend to pass eventually - it’s just the waiting it out til that happens that’s the tricky part, but a more pro-active approach at trying to put them aside is always a good thing to work at!


#966

Popped my first ever Xanax today and my god I can see why they’re highly addictive


#967

I swear they don’t even do anything for me (anymore)

Glad they’re helping you out though. If it’s helpful, I mark on my calendar when I take benzos/sleep meds so I can be sure that I wasn’t taking them too often, and share this info with my doctor.


#968

Has taken the edge off, felt like I was heading towards a panic attack so had one and damn… so relaxed. Don’t really want to rely on this kind of thing and would rather fix the root cause of my nonsense brain, but it’ll do for now.

Hope you’re doing okay ghosty <3


#969

I’m exactly the sort of person who’d get hooked on something like xanax. was prescribed pain killers for something a few years ago and ended up throwing the lot down the loo after I felt myself looking forward to another dose.


#970

Had my first CBT session. Had lots of “why the hell are we talking about this?” moments and I zoned out for chunks of it. I feel bad.


#971

Don’t. I had CBT for a while and the first few weeks were just as you described, but towards the end of the run I got a lot out of it. Do what you can do, don’t put pressure on yourself to ‘make the most of it’ or whatever.


#972

Had to go back to the doctor to get my dosage upped again. Massively disappointing after a really good period that lasted just long enough for me to believe I’d finally turned a corner.

The GP was going to put me on the waiting lists for face-to-face CBT and some more counselling but offered me the upped dosage to see if that helped in the meantime, then didn’t put me on the waiting lists after all. It’s ok, they’re only a minimum of 4 months long. No rush.

So very tired of all this.


#973

Is it worth looking to see if you can self-refer to your local NHS provider? It’s an option in our area.


#974

It doesn’t seem to be an option in Wales, sadly. Currently digging through stuff on the NHS Wales/Mind websites but every time I find something that looks useful I seem to hit a, “sorry this service only covers England” page.


#975

Had a particularly bad episode during staff training the other day which was pretty horrendous because I felt so trapped in the situation while also getting upset by the trigger (my ex’s birthday is coming up, I’m really missing her atm as well as berlin and our former life together, plus feel terrible for how I fucked this up and didn’t give it what it needed at the time)… swung back around yesterday due to being skint and having to knock back a girl I’m seeing because of it… so guess I’m gonna patch that for a while.

I’m still feeling pretty self conscious about my body and I’m skint cuz im back in London/making poor choices :upside_down_face:


#976

there is no shame at all. we’re all here for you and will support you in whatever ways we can, and know you’re fantastic x


#977

I know it’s probably not what you want to hear right now but give it time. It will take a (long) while but in time you’ll be able to look back on your experiences in Berlin and with your ex with some clarity. You’ve got so much going on right now it’ll be hard, I imagine, to see anything really clearly.

I hope it all comes together soon for you, I really do. But it will.


#978

Thank you and I know, I’m just writing things down really.

Here’s another thing I thought about yesterday: the last couple Augusts have been consistently depressive for me :confused:


#979

Thank you x

I am feeling a bit steadier at the moment, but still mostly in a not good place.


#980

Sorry to just barge in but I’m feeling pretty low today tbh. I’m meant to be working (aren’t I always) but instead used some time to sign up to BetterHelp.com just now. Got matched with a “Christian, Biblically trained” counsellor though, lol. I’ve been on meds for many years and everything but never really gave therapy a real shot just because it’s scary and hard and I’d much rather go on just pretending everything’s fine and under some sort of control, I guess. But then I also feel like I just haven’t been able to make my life really work yet either. And some days, like today for some reason, that kind of thinking just really takes over and reminds me where I am actually at, mentally. Yuck.


#981

Sorry to hear this WR. I totally get this. It’s easy to accept what ever little bit of control or normality we have and ignore the things that cause problems (I’m the same, I have an overwhelming sense of failing to actually start living in some respects yet). And sometimes it does catch up with you and those times really fucking suck. Really hope it passes or you find a solution. What’s the referral/therapy situation like over there?
Please don’t feel like you need to say sorry for ‘barging in’, the way I see it this thread open for everyone to air anything that’s affecting them, no matter what. And it’s an amazing space full of brilliant people. Of which you’re undoubtedly one, and as I’ve said above in a previous post, mine and I like to think everyone else in here’s ears/PMs are always open.


#982

Sorry to hear you’re feeling low. I’m having pizza tonight, in case that cheers you up at all?