Would it help if I stirred up the Smashing Pumpkins and SY threads again? (Sorry)
TBH it sounds like you’ve given Berlin a good shot but living alone in a place that would be struggle while also battling depression probably isn’t the greatest thing to help you.
Going back to your parents is probably the right thing to do but then I have no idea about your relationship with them and how open you can be etc.
What Theo says.
I think its time to go back home to your parents for a short time.
It doesn’t mean you’ve failed to be a functioning adult as you’ve put it. But it’s probably not the best for yourMH to be isolated in a place where you are also struggling to pay for.
I know my parents would always welcome me home if i needed to.
If you can, give yourself a time limit, say three months to help sort whatever you need to and move on.
This cannot be emphasised enough @Severed799 mate. You’ve given something a shot that I probably wouldn’t have even considered, and from what I can tell made a pretty good crack at it. It’s a real shame things aren’t working out for you, but it doesn’t sound to me like that’s all your fault.
Much love fella.
Just to add to this @Severed799, I can totally empathise with you. After I split with my wife almost four year ago the only realistic option I had was to go back and live with my folks. I’m still there. I can’t afford to move out into my own place, or if I did, it would have to be a good couple of hours away to somewhere I could afford which would be useless for seeing the kids.
It’s not perfect and there are times when it makes me feel absolutely pathetic and wretched - very much like a non-functioning adult, as you put it (especially as me moving back meant they had to forget selling their house and downsizing, that was a good layer of guilt I felt) - but ultimately, without them I don’t know how I would have survived mentally, financially or logistically. Giving consideration to what would most likely have happened without being able to have gotten back home just doesn’t bear thinking about.
Of course, everyone’s experiences are different, but there’s a good chance that going home will give you the opportunity to re-group and get back on your feet in a less pressurised space.
Whatever you end up doing, take care man and we’re all here with you every step of the way as best we can be.
Never has this been better captured than here:
Thank you all
I empathise with this totally (my mum was in the verge of downsizing when I had to move back). It is getting closer to two years that I have been here and it is getting a bit difficult now (but at least half of that is having to share a room with R when he is long past the age when he would have moved into his own room if space allowed). Luckily I am eligible for a council house/flat, just have to wait a bit longer to get to the top of the list.
@Severed799 I don’t really have any advice to offer, but I am sorry you are going through this and I hope you can get to a situation where you can feel better, whether that be in Berlin, back home or somewhere else x
I’m circling the drain
You have got yourself back up before, I believe in you that you can do it again, and your friends will help pull you up xxx
CW suicidal thoughts. Today marks three years since I walked out of my office, made the short walk to A&E and told them them I wanted to kill myself and was terrified that I would do it. The lowest point of my life and one that still plays on my mind whenever I walk past the hospital in question (its in central London so that’s quite a lot). I am so grateful to have had the support I needed and received at the time and spending a bit of time today thinking of those who aren’t so lucky. Sorry for potential overshare but needed to vent somewhere. Much love to you all.
Not only is that bang on the money, it also made me smile. Everyone else should watch it
Just spent two hours crying because I couldn’t get out of my head that my dog is going to die within the next ten years. This is becoming quite a regular thing. I just cry and cling on to him and he gets so confused. He deserves so much better but I can’t bear to give him up.
There’s no doubt from your posts here that he couldn’t be in a more loving and caring home. Try and concentrate on making the most of the time you do have with him, really hope things start to feel better soon PM.
I’d really just like to get some support for something. The guy who groped me earlier in the year is back in this group of friends tonight. I thought I had made my peace with the whole thing (through an overly masculine display if anger) but it’s just annoying to see him getting away with it.
Thanks guys x
Wow. I don’t remember hearing about this, but it sounds pretty awful mate. Do others in the group know about it all?
Big hugs for you either way.
If you don’t mind me asking, in what ways is he getting away with it? Are you referring to treatment from other friends in your group? As zealy says, the extent to which others know what went on is probably important in this issue…but equally I don’t want to seem like I’m persuading you to do one thing or another.
Apologies for a question when you just wanted support, feel free to ignore it.
Just want to echo that it sounds like he gets ample amounts of love plus more. Don’t put yourself down.
that’s quite shit. being groped was much more of a mind-fuck than I would have expected. especially since I know that basically every woman who’s ever lived has experienced the same thing much more regularly and in likelihood much worse
I don’t really have anything positive or constructive to say. I don’t think i’ve ever talked about it before actually. maybe someone who knows what they’re talking about will chip in. but like solidarity, maaaaaaan