**New** Mental Health Thread (2018)


Thanks dude. I think you’re right, I mean, I know you are really. It’s just a whole bunch o’stuff at once. I’ve got a 1-to-1 with my manager in an hour and it’s hanging over me like a cloud. Which is massively unhealthy and it’s as much to do with my lack of coping as it is with her management style. The latter isn’t going to change, y’know? And hopefully unlike last time I did CBT because I know what it is I want to change/address, I should get more out of whatever it is I end up getting referred for.

Also s/o everyone on this thread sharing their experiences, I’m sure I’m not alone in lurking on here and not knowing what to say but appreciating the knowledge that I’m not alone :slight_smile:


Do they allow you to work at home?
I’m 100% not cut out for office work but I am grateful I can work from home once or twice a week if I need it. Otherwise, I chuck my big headphones on and block everyone out.

Is the work itself ok? Or is it more the people that you don’t enjoy?


As an aside me and a bunch of mates on Friday night were talking about this sort of thing and we arrived at the conclusion that you can’t fairly judge a job until you’ve been there for 6+ months and/or passed your probation period. Think there’s a lot of a truth in that that I’d not really recognised before. And that’s not to say what you’re going through isn’t REAL, of course it is. Just that you’ll be in a better position in a few months to work out what of your current issues are ‘you’ and what are ‘this job’ if that makes sense? (I fear that it doesn’t!)


No I totally agree, and working in HR it’s pretty much accepted wisdom that it takes 3-6 months to get up and running to full competence in a new role. They knew exactly what I’d done and hadn’t done and how much I didn’t know about the region I currently support, to to start assessing me and deciding I’m not doing well enough halfway into a 6-month contract just feels really unfair and premature, but there’s a lot about the way this company does things that makes me feel like it’s not a great fit for me.


Yeah this sounds pretty rubbish on their part has to be said. If they don’t have the organisational infrastructure or slack available to assist you with making the transition then they shouldn’t have hired you. This has happened to me in the past (although in a very different scenario) and it’s both infuriating and confusing. (I ended up getting sacked which was obviously awful and I say this not to spook you but more to say that even though it happened it a) isn’t actually as bad as you think it’s going to be and b) the extreme likelihood is you’ll sort yourself out relatively quickly. If it comes to that, of course).

Having the realisation you’ve had can also be empowering don’t forget. If you’ve sussed these guys out and you’re like “yeah this place isn’t for me” you can remove the emotional attachment you may have had with the work, put up with the day to day awfulness and look elsewhere. It’s not nice but if you know it’s short term you can pump yourself through it all :slight_smile:


You’re very good at this, Geoff :smiley:


Ha not at all, we’re all clueless at the end of the day. I just saw your post and thought it sounded familiar and thought I could impart some advice based on my own experiences. For reassurance if nothing else!


No zero working from home allowed. Apart from senior management, apparently. I went over to the quieter office at lunch time though, and it’s been better since.

Just wish there was a viable alternative.


Could you possibly say that it’s a reasonable adjustment?


Doubt it. Also don’t really feel comfortable asking for anything right now given the transition stuff they’re dealing with. I’d sound like the most ‘difficult’ employee ever. Maybe a few months further on if I’m still there.

I need to formulate some kind of plan and look at what work I could reasonably do. Unfortunately anything that requires specialist training is off the cards, which is basically every non-office job earning 22k+.

Also was told today that my line manager will be leaving in sixish weeks, and my new line manager might be the bigoted woman who sits next to me! FUN! Trying to remember why I thought this job was a good idea… I could probably have predicted all these problems if I’d properly thought it through.


i don’t know what line of work you’re in but lots of companies allow/encourage home working - even the call centre i used to work in is now actively encouraging people to wfh when it was previously only allowed reluctantly if you had a broken leg or similar. there might be jobs similar to yours at other companies that do allow home working?


went and cut my arm in several places with a kitchen knife last night, didn’t i? deep ones. arm looks like i’ve been attacked by a fucking werewolf. IDIOT. WHY? your good old friend OCD and its intrusive thoughts - of course, an old favourite, religious judgement despite being secular. hahahahah fucking end me


I’m not good at saying helpful things, but I’m sorry this happened to you, and please don’t beat yourself up over it. Take care of the cuts as best you can. Are you in contact with any MH professionals?


i considered calling Samaritans last night cos i was in such a state that i thought i’d just keep cutting. been doing really well lately and then i read something and it triggered an old anxiety and just , yeah, downward spiral


Feel like I’m butting in here a little bit, but do any of you guys have health related anxiety?

No idea what happened but since I turned 30 everything is a huge trigger to send me down an anxiety spiral; articles about cancer, famous people dying of cancer (Rachael Bland dying there a few days ago at 40!), literally any symptom I have…


you are in no way butting in, don’t worry :slight_smile:

I’ve convinced myself I’ve had three different types of cancer this year. Kind of feel like I’m dying of something right now but I’ve sort of given up thinking much about it and have decided that if I’m going to die then so be it.

Hard to make plans to do stuff and enjoy things when you have this kind of relentlessly negative perspective though.

Hope you find a way to cope with and work around your health anxiety x


Yeah, I really have to make a conscious effort to keep it in check. I think it’s quite common as we get older to become more aware of how quickly time passes and also the older you get the more people you know that do get sick. I’m not sure i can say anything helpful since I’m in the same position but I make sure I go to the doctor over the things that really concern me, just so I can reason with myself. But yeah, it’s definitely one of my top anxieties.


Yup this is exactly me. Its a bit depressing I find that I dont look to the future at all because I dont see myself in it…

The plus side to that is that it does push me to get stuff done (art/music) as I feel like I need to acheive “something” before I die lol.


Yeah I’ve been to the doctor way too much this year… though I usually feel like an idiot when I do go (not that they make me feel like one or anything) and complain about slight aches and pains…


Last night, my friend who I’ve only known about a year told me I’m one of his favourite people and he loves me (I really hope he meant it as a friend). I found it overwhelming and I said he can’t really mean that because I’ve felt like such a piece of shit recently. Now I feel really bad because he was being nice and is in general quite a good person. :frowning: