**New** Mental Health Thread (2018)


#121

Everyone knows he has groped me (and several other people). I excuse them because they have to be OK to him because this has been addressed, and he has apologised to me.

It’s hard to be around him. My friends have been supportive, but it’s just seeing the guy has been really upsetting. Might try and explain more when I’m more awake

It’s also OK for the question, it has helped me clarify my own mindset!

@noise_ramones it has been a headfuck. As a straight boi I never expected this but its pretty awful how what seems like a small issue just balloons. Can’t imagine how it feels to be a woman who experiences it regularlym

Hope you’re feeling OK xx


#122

i’m feeling pretty bleak today. yesterday was pretty stressful and i was utterly shattered and completely hollowed out by the end of it all. i debated working from home today but i thought i should probably come in rather than hiding away too much. struggling quite a bit, though.


#123

A guy jumped off the office building opposite mine today. 10 storeys, landing in a very busy part of the square at lunchtime, loads of people milling about.

I was lucky that I’d come back from lunch already, but my desk faces right onto the square and I saw the body, and it was pretty gory.

Haven’t been able to think about anything else since, it was just horrific. Don’t know what typing this will achieve but just wanted to get in down somewhere I suppose.

The facebook group for the city I’m living in was abuzz like it was some great gossip, loads of wankers making jokes immediately, speculating on what made the dude jump, calling it selfish etc. Unsurprisingly it has really got me down.

Not in the best place personally anyway, have had a pretty good year all told but some insecurities have started creeping back in, especially since I’ve realised i’m in love and now feel like I have something great to lose. She could not be more forthcoming with praise and compliments and the like, and when I’m in good mental health I’ve no problem believing that I’m a great boyfriend, and that she’s really into me and that I’m a worthwhile human, but there’s been times this last couple of weeks where it has been really difficult to believe any of it. She’s been really reassuring but y’know, brains are stupid. Kind of disappointed as I thought I was over this kind of crap, and also a bit miffed because this was the reason I avoided relationships in the first place.

Meh.


#124

Oh man. I hope your okay.

A few weeks back I went past a stationary Gatwick express which someone had jumped under, didnt see the body, but saw the police under the train, there were so many people moaning about being delayed. I still think about the poor chap.


#125

Down, whatever, but who cares

Stupid psychiatrist appointment today which will be pointless, I’ll go and say I’m fine and he will tell me I still have to take my medication and then I will leave and be down about it. Like always.

Also have to leave work early and because of this I have missed out on going for a poke bowl for lunch with my colleagues which probably (definitely) would have cheered me up.

Also when I explained why I couldn’t come I was just like “I have to leave early” which made them ask “why?” and when I said I had a doctor’s appointment they were like “are you ok?” and of course I was like “yeah, it’s nothing” (which leads to puzzling looks and probably gossip) but inside I was like “no I am not ok and I NEVER WILL BE BECAUSE I AM CURSED WITH THIS FUCKING DISORDER.”

That’s how I feel right now. What’s even the point in feeling ok if I can’t go off my medication? I may as well just be nuts and in the hospital all the time, painting and weaving baskets and doing jigsaw puzzles.


#126

Big hugs GP.


#127

My anxiety’s been giving me upset stomach and it’s horrible. The stuff my doctor gave me isn’t doing much good. :frowning:


#128

Going downhill rapidly. Basically got a massive issue with our new house I just covered here Monday Morning
and it’s having a serious impact on my MH. Both mine and my wife’s sleep is being massively affected which is causing us serious bad moods. Yesterday after not sleeping more than 2 hours there was an all-day house/trance event down the road so couldn’t nap either and the whole day was just awful. The main issue is that my parents own the flat we live in, and after a stressful period when we moved last time won’t want to do it again so soon. They’ve been lending me money too while I’m looking for a job so I just feel increasingly burdensome.
My wife also suffers with her MH as I’ve said here before so we’re both finding it really tough. I had a bit of a meltdown yesterday at the thought of dealing with moving twice in a year and the fact that her and my parents are inevitably going to butt heads about their approach to all this.

I’ve been increasingly feeling like it’d all just be better for everyone involved if I wasn’t here anymore, to the point where I lay awake the other night running through various options and what to put in a note etc. It was only the thought of my wife’s MH and my dad’s heart condition that snapped me out of it but it’s woeeying me still that I even entertained the thought

I’m very aware this smacks massively of first world problems and part of my low mood is guilt about that, but it’s a very real issue that’s causing us both to spiral downwards and it’s very hard right now to see a solution that keeps everyone involved happy.


#129

That sounds like a huge amount of stress to be under and I can understand why you’d feel really overwhelmed.

I’m sorry you’ve felt this low. I felt/thought like this a few months ago and really just wanted to get it all over with. Telling others how I felt and surrounding myself with love was the best safetynet for me.


#130

Noises really affects me and when it means I don’t get to sleep soundly, that would understandably drive me up the walls.

First of all I’d definitely raise a noise complaint with the local council. Sounds like it’s an unreasonable amount of noise.

Have you tried ear plugs? I buy packs of 20 bright orange builders earplugs on amazon (only about £3) and that helps with unreasonable noises. It managed to block out a car alarm right outside my window at 3am the last week.

I live on a main road now where there is so much traffic noise and I used to live in a back room on an insanely quiet street where I’d never hear a car in my bedroom. But you do get used to the sound of traffic and block it out so I wouldn’t worry too much about that. It’s probably just a bit of a shock if you’ve been in the countryside for months.


#131

This is the thing that’s most exasperating. We’ve filed a complaint with the council, had the out of hours team round at night etc and it looks like there’s not much they can do about it as the place in question are legally speaking staying within the terms of their license.
I can just about get to sleep, I was used to traffic noise from before we moved to the country so I can deal with that more or less. My wife has tried ear plugs though and said they work a bit but the music we can hear is very bass heavy so it’s more the vibration that’s disrupting.
Tbh I’m all for moving to somewhere quieter and getting a bigger place for the money it’s just very soon after moving twice in 5 months already.


#132

I’ve told my wife and she’s been very understanding/supportive and I’m trying to process in my head what’s just a fleeting low thought and what’s a real concern if that makes sense. It’s just the feeling of being in the middle of it all (my mum and my wife don’t get along that well at times) that’s hard. I know if I told them just how low it’s making me, my parents would take steps to resolve things with the house but I worry more about my dad’s reaction, he has a heart condition and gets very stressed from the medication he’s on and I know he’d be devastated if he knew how bad it’d got. I think I’m over these thoughts for now, I just want to focus on getting things sorted and find out if selling a house after 2 months is viable.


#133

And @meowington Thank you both for listening/responding. You’re the best, and things like this are the reason I came back to DiS in the first place.


#134

Hi, I didn’t take my flight back to Berlin today


#135

(Because I couldn’t face it, for MH/life reasons, is why I’m posting this here)


#136

which was maybe a really stupid decision and now I’m panicing, cool


#137

Feel like a complete failure today


#138

Hope you’re ok pal! Hopefully it was the right decision, if not then there are plenty more flights to Berlin. Hopefully not too much €€€ either.

(Lots of hoping there!)


#139

I’ve been semi-following things and have been wanting to write but have been too afraid of giving bad advice. But I don’t think this is a bad decision at all for a few reasons.

  • Most importantly, breakups are the absolute worst and remaining in the same area (with the additional nightmare of sorting through new financial issues, no-less) is absolutely brutal and not conducive to mental health at all. I went through two absolutely brutal breakups 5 years or so ago, and the second one was much easier to handle thanks in big part to my leaving the city immediately. After the first one I was stuck there, and it was absolute hell and it felt impossible to move on while being in an area that was once the setting for a lot of happy memories. Removing yourself from the area makes it much easier to process and kind of creates a mental divide between the breakup and the future.

  • If I’m remembering correctly, it sounds as if you’re not too thrilled about school and aren’t too sure if it’s going to lead to your doing what you want for a career? This might not fully apply since you’re not in the US, but every single person I know who found themselves in that situation and finished is now starting over from scratch anyway and is drowning in debt because they didn’t leave when they first realized it wasn’t right for them.

  • There’s really no shame in going back home and it could be a great way to regroup and think things through in a less stressful environment. I’d imagine it would be very hard to figure out your next step when also trying to figure out how you’re going to pay for day to day life. The financial challenges in Berlin might have ended up preventing you from pursuing a good option, whereas at home without having to worry about that constraint (and with the ability to save more money instead) it might make it easier to pursue what you want once you figure it out.

Don’t beat yourself up - you really may have made the right decision, and even if it doesn’t feel that way or doesn’t end up working out, I think there was a very, very strong case for having made it.


#140

thanks for this, it is all very good advice and correct and pretty much where I’m at now