Just wanted to say that starting therapy again has been really great- obviously it wasn’t nice ripping that plaster off again but I’m glad I did it. Didn’t even go and see her face to face, had an hour long session over the phone cause I wasn’t ready for a more intimate session, but it was good.
Obviously felt like utter rubbish for a few days after, cause I’ve seen her before so she was asking how I’ve been getting on with certain things and that was tough.
But yeah, it was nice to have some validation if that makes sense? Like, it’s not normal (although what is?) to go through this much trauma at my age- and it was nice to have someone impartial tell me that. Obviously I’m so grateful for all the lovely things you guys say to me, but it feels different cause you’re all my internet friends and know me in a different way. I babble on to you lot in daily threads about what I’m having for dinner and what I’m watching on telly, whereas this woman doesn’t know me at all, really. Not sure how to explain that really haha
So yes, really happy I’ve started that again. And it took me over a week to realise that. If anyone is reading this and umming and ahhing about doing the same- please give it a go. Shit at the time but you’ll be glad you did it. Bit like exercise isn’t it? When you first start you feel like your legs and lungs are about to collapse, but you never regret doing exercise after.
Big love and hugs to all of you, as ever. Wonderful bunch of troopers
And sorry for this rambling stream of consciousness x