**New** Mental Health Thread (Rolling, SSP)

Don’t be Bam. You can only be the best self you can manage at any given moment, and that’s plenty good enough :+1:

Take care while you’re feeling like this x

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Biathlon!

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I miss bugduv :frowning:

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Aye, same. The absolute definition of a “good lad”

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Sorry you’re having a rough time Bam. Just be whatever person you feel like being on here, and take care of yourself x

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thanks and to @colinzealuk very kind of you, it’s always lovely to know that somebody cares x

having anxiety and negative thoughts triggered by seeing somebody the other day, I’m just trying to ignore myself as much as possible and try to get healthy in the hopes that I can avoid a big bout of depression.

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a lot of the stuff he shared wrt mental health/booze/lifestyle really hit the nail on the head with me in a way that rarely does, and I don’t think I ever really said so at the time.

hope you’re well if you ever read this, man.

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If you mean try not to listen to the negative thoughts too much, I think that’s a really good thing. Sometimes (for me anyway), the fear of getting depressed can be a really bad experience in its own right. I hope you can ride it out, and if you feel like being healthy that can only be a good thing, but don’t beat yourself up if you don’t manage it.

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In danger of spiralling backwards for a myriad of reasons, but mostly to do with home life. If someone could just wave a magic wand and make everything good again that would be grand. Thanks in advance team x

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Just dumping this in here. No need to reply. Just need an outlet for this.

Last week my wife had an operation to terminate a very rare type of unviable pregnancy. Have been trying to support her the best I can over the last few days. She has taken the ordeal much worse than I have, understandably as she’s had to go through a very hard time. But I’m finding it really hard to help her through it. I’m trying to be understanding and supporting, but we end up snapping as she’s upset. Tie on her sister giving birth recently and other friends announcing pregnancies and she’s struggling, plus our daughter has a viral illness and is very demanding. I can’t help but feel frustrated with the situation. It’s impacting on me in a way I’ve not experienced before and I’m unsure of how to deal with it.

Bleugh

I am so sorry.

You two shouldn’t have to deal all of this alone. Do you have access to a grief counselor or someone similar?

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I know you’re not seeking responses but I am sending you a hug- this is incredibly hard for you both xxx
(Phone went crackers there hence edit x

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Sending lots of love to both of you. My only cousin just had something similar happen with a pregnancy and I can only imagine what it’s like and how hard it must be to have a whole life imagined, only to vanish through cruel genetics. Heartbreaking xxx

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Hey man,

Hope you’re okay, hope Mrs Z is okay. You know where I am if you need to vent / support.

I have two magic wands from the kids’ magic sets here, alas I don’t think they’re real :cry:

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My wife and I have had five miscarriages, across two/three pregnancies, and my suggestion would be seek a bit of guidance from the GP for support, or two charities I used for support - Tommy’s and Life Charity. https://www.tommys.org/ and https://lifecharity.org.uk/pregnancy-loss/ can offer good guidance, I found.

Not sure this is what you want or need, but I found it helped. Also, massive love.

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I start therapy today. This is a huge step.

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Good luck mate. :+1:

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Sending lots of love to your family xx

I had quite different circumstances so its not the same thing your wife is experiencing,
but I recently had to end a pregnancy and it put quite a big strain on my relationship. I found it very difficult to communicate with anyone about what I was feeling. I didn’t tell anyone at work or my family or close friends, and I think it would have relieved the strain on my partner if I had. I would suggest trying to make your wife know you understand what a complicated situation it is, and that it’s ok for her to take a while to process it and choose how she deals with and discusses it.

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I’ve been in a similar situation - friends pregnant while we were unsuccessfully trying, or friends announcing pregnancy after my other half had had a miscarriage that we hadn’t told anyone about. And she did take things much worse than I did - it was her body, and mentally it was a lot more than just a few cells growing inside her.

But I’ve got no magic advice, only empathy. All I could do was be supportive, but so often that wasn’t quite enough even though there was nothing more I could do.

Hopefully things will improve once she’s got her basic health back, because having the little one to look after and the grind of daily life forces you to move on a bit. Time’s a great healer and I’m sure that she’s aware that she’s snapping just as you are. It’s a stressful time for you both, plus her body is probably doing unusual things with hormones too which she’s having to deal with - it’ll get better, and I know how frustrating it can me.

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I feel so rotten at the moment, all the usual stuff behind it that I am mostly powerless to change and the rest my brain is too feeble to work its way out of. Wish I could just have a break, I am so burnt out.