**New** Mental Health Thread (Rolling, SSP)

Thank you - i think i will speak to the school. WE have a good relationship with them and already have had meetings with the educational psychologist so hopefully we can set something up.

I’m totally fine with whatever it takes to help him with regards to adjustments - as exhausting as it can be ;-). I have been a bot concerned about being to accommodating but i think you’re right, at 6 it can’t be too harmful. I lay with him in bed for a bit last night for a cuddle though and he when i said night night he just said he couldn’t wait for morning as it’ll be bad dreams all night. Its so sad but trying not to get my emotions involved with it. Just lots of reassurance.

My other son has just come in for a poo so best crack on anyway :smiley: Thanks so much to you all - really helps just hearing from others. xx

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My meds are being switched to fluoxetine as that is the only of the main ones I haven’t had yet. Doctor said to reduce current ones slowly and cross taper with the new ones, I asked if I could get written instructions for this because I found all the vagueness of what was said confusing, but of course that isn’t going to happen. Wasn’t even given a smaller dose of the old meds to work with. I have three of them left so I’m going to cut them in half and after three days of just them have the last three halves with starting fluoxetine. Doesn’t really seem like ‘slowly’ to me, but I don’t really have any other options. It was an ordeal enough to get to this point.

Feels comedically futile at this point anyway. Not really anything that can be done to help me that anyone can actually do. So unless some rich benefactor wants to give me my own flat so I can have some control and calmness in my life I’m fucked.

Tw: self harm also hurting myself lots and thinking about hurting myself a lot more. Again, what can anyone do to help me? I jist get told not to do it, like that is an option I hadn’t been trying. No asking if I’m ok or hurt or attempting to treat. Just don’t do it.

Well that sure was a nice 2 month break but back on pregablin again :partying_face: :roll_eyes:

I feel so absolutely fucking useless. Can’t even shower or feed myself rn, let alone do any of the nice food I’d been planning or have much of a hope of coping being out of bed before R finishes school in just over an hour.

Self-harm is horrendous and addictive and a really hard pattern to break. What helped me over the years was two things. Firstly, finding someone to speak to. I bounced through a set of different counsellors, support people etc, and eventually found one that clicked. It did take a while though and I’m not sure what support you’re getting via your GP on this stuff.
Secondly having something else to focus on - when I was younger it was playing guitar (badly), nowadays it is running or birdwatching. It won’t be a magic wand but it can take you away from those thoughts that are driving you.
Keep reaching out on here - I know sometimes the very process of putting it out there helps to lessen it slightly. I’m fairly new here but there’s obviously a huge amount of support and love for you here, so keep using that.

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When I was coming off antidepressants I went for half a pill every other day as the final step so maybe you could go for half and half for a few days, then alternating one day on the new one, one day half and half for a few days.

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Absolutely cannot fathom any way for things to get better. What the fuck am I meant to do

where are you up to? I know you’re waiting on housing and this is taking ages. Are you in a position to rent somewhere privately? Are you working or able? It seems like having your own space would go a long way to helping.

Not able to work. Could maybe afford to rent privately a few months, but it wouldn’t be sustainable and I wouldn’t be able to get appliances or furniture etc if needed as that is what I’ve kept those savings for.

Just no way out of this

arrgghh i hate situations like this where you really do feel stuck. I don’t want to pry too much but is there any way at all you could make an income? Is there anything you could do home based or whatever?

Seems like its a home and space that is going to make the biggest difference to you and its money (or a waiting list) thats going to solve this.

Just wondering if there is any way at all to bring in a steady income?

x

I can’t even look after myself, let alone look after my son, there is fuck all way I could work, especially in a set up made for nt people.

Anyway, mum just destroyed me and now I’m really hurt and wish I could be dead because that would be better for everyone. She wouldn’t lwave me alone even as I was getting more and more out of control and begged her to leave. R would habe been able to hear me sxreaming and I hate that but she wouldn’t leave even when I said I would keep hurtinf myself until she left and I didn’t want to do that but I was desperate. I don’t deserve to live. I am just a monster who hurts everything and apparently I don’t even try to make things better despite destroying myself with the effort of trying.

You are very important to us. Things will change you just need to hang on in.

Wish I could do more x

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I might have said this before but are there any charities in your area that can provide support/advice with housing issues? Or Shelter? Because it seems really clear that your current housing situation is unsuitable and bad for your health, so you should be higher priority for housing than whatever they’ve got you down as

Already got higher priority awarded for those reasons but it made fuck all difference :+1:

Had now a third person/service say they are going to refer me to adult social care but nothing ever seems to happen there. Not sure there is anything to be done unless my mum officially kicks me out, but then it would probably mean a very long stay in temporary accommodation which would be just as disastrous for my health and for R (as either he’d stay here and I’d be separated from him, or he’d come with me and we’d both be in a terrible unstable place)

It’s totally inadequate and I’m angry for you that you haven’t been housed yet

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This sounds so frustrating and upsetting. Please know that we are all here to listen to you and support in any way we can. You’re very valued and cared about xx

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if I wasn’t terrified of death, I would go out right now and end it. I am not coming back from this, whether I go now or not

I’m looking for some advice on a sensitive subject that i can’t really speak to anyone about in my real life, and this thread maybe feels like the most appropriate place on here.

Primarily keen for female perspectives on this but welcome any input

CW: sexual assault w/ a brief description

Last year my now-partner was sexually assaulted during an initially consensual sexual encounter with a friend. She was ‘stealthed’, meaning he agreed to wear a condom and then removed it without consent.

She has a black-and-white view on this being wrong, and a legitimate form of seuxal assault. However, she also has broadly low self esteem, and is currently grieving, and this happened shortly after her mother died; these things combine to illustrate the point that whilst it’s gravely serious, it’s not the most serious thing she’s been dealing with. She has not expressed to him her feelings about the action, but excommunicated him, and then responded cheerfully to a message he sent her around Christmas, during a moment of goodwill. (I say this with no judgment, only to illustrate that he therefore has no idea either of the seriousness of his action, or no idea that he’s been ‘caught’ and will face any consequences.)

Her sister and her long term bf are also friends of the man who did it and whilst they agree that it’s wrong, they don’t view it with the same seriousness that my partner does. This is creating some difficult situations; for example, my partner and I were invited by my partner’s sister on a prospective camping trip later this year, that he would also be at. It was only after I was very candid about my feelings about this that my partner felt validated to feel uncomfortable about going; I think she feels a lot of self-doubt about how seriously she can take it, especially due to her sister not fully having her back on it and being willing to enable social situations between the two.

I’m basically just really unsure how to handle this situation in the most sensitive way. The first time she recounted this incident to me, we were still getting to know each other, so I listened with compassion and assured her that she was right to view it as completely wrong, but left it at that. The second time, the recent discussion I got very angry about his actions and her sister’s reaction, and then cried when the adrenaline subsided, and eventually we communicated about it well, and she thanked me for validating her feelings whilst also asking me to try to lead with compassion not anger, especially when we’re alone, which I agreed to. She reiterated that she would never want me to speak or act on her behalf, which I respect completely.

This last point, however, is stressing me out, because I also would be unable and unwilling to be civil in a social situation with him. I’m not really a violent person, but I’m not shy of expressing myself very directly. The fact that her sister does not really validate her viewpoint creates a slight minefield and the possibility of us being in a situation together worries me because I’d have to remove myself from it to avoid speaking on my partner’s behalf which would, to some extent, still be speaking, or acting, on her behalf. My partner knows how I feel so there might be an element of overthink here, and my validation of her views might give her the boost to also express her unwillingness to be in that situation and avoid it happening.

Basically I’m looking for some guidance as to how best meet her needs and handle the situation delicately. I don’t feel like I can bring it up with her unless it comes up naturally as it’s a potentially triggering thing, and not my wound to pick at. It’s stressing me out more than it should but this is fuelled in part by a very valid and urgent sense of extreme disappointment in her sister, who in all fairness may be dealing with her own subconscious sense of disbelief that her friend would carry out a sexual assault.

That’s a bit of a meander but any advice and thoughts will be appreciated deeply :orange_heart:

ooft, shit.

i’m so sorry your partner had to deal with this and she is not overreacting at all.

will PM you in due course x

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thank you very much x