New office: advice needed

lastlaugh
oneupmanship

#1

Moving into some brand-spanking new offices next Monday. We had a visit yesterday and (amazingly) it looks virtually ready for us to move into.
Our desks are already allocated but, is there anything I should do to make sure I don’t get short-changed? Any practical tips on things I should do to ensure the move goes to my advantage?


#2

Put a towel on the chair you want.


#3

Mark your preferred territory with your scent. And by scent I mean go to the toilet. And by go to the toilet I mean do a massive cable on your new desk.


#4

Typical englisch scum. Do that and blame another nationality for it and then make jokes about to hide your own shame and inadequacy


#5

is there anything you can do if your desk has been allocated? We’re moving office in May which is quite exciting. I really want a desk next to a window, and hopefully a windowsill for a plant


#6

Tell the office chump that he’s got to work in the kitchen. Genuinely might actually fucking do it!


#7

get access to the plans and make sure you put the office totty surrounding you


#8

probably get one of those ridicu-… etc etc


#9

On the first day, just walk up to the biggest guy there and smack him square in the face. No one will fuck with you after that…


#10

*Smash the biggest desk in with your fists/head


#11

I have a window seat
’#’ kissmyface


#12

I am the biggest guy here


#13

At least we don’t turn to the Occult when we’re losing a war.


#14

Mate - got the same thing. I used the fact that I’m quite hard of hearing on the left side to determine that I got the cushy one right at the back with back to the wall and a window.

Felt a bit low but I’m getting a boss desk out of it.


#15

prepare to be attacked


#16

My advice still stands…