Nicknames/substitute names you have for celebrities

Nicole shirt swinger
Thomas Shakermaker
Christina A Gorilla

Does anyone else do this?

yes

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Bobby De Niro

I call John Torode “Jonty Rhodes”, which you’d think would be confusing, but fortunately I have no need to refer to the South African cricketer.

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“that one with the face” - most of them

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“him/her off of [reason for being famous here]”

Annoyingly I don’t get many opportunities to refer to the wonderfully haired Colombian footballer of the 90s so my brilliant substitute name of ‘Carlos Vanarama’ has only made a couple of appearances

I sometimes call him John End-Of-Torode (hilarious I know)

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Do you put on a really bad irish accent? that would make it better imo

No, I sing it in the style of Boyz II Men

i call her Nicole Shit-singer

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Joking Phoenix

Benedict Cumberbatch = Englebert Bumbaclart / Dinglebert Cumberbund

I always refer to Jay Rayner as "Rayner, son of Rayner"
Others:
Assistant sous chef Monica
Fucking Gregg Wallace
I sometimes pronounce Olly Murs to rhyme with polymers, OR I will sing his name along to the Erasure hit Oh L’Amour
The man who presents BBC Breakfast with Louise Minchin is known in our house as "the idiot man"
You don’t see Gillian McKeith around so much anymore, but I always used to refer to her as “Gillian McKeith, or to give her her full medical title, Gillian McKeith”

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Mickey Bubbles

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This reminds me, I call Enrique Iglesias “Henry Churches”.

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My wife calls him and the other one Dickhead and Rimmer. No particular reason why, but it’s stuck.

^this

“that wet prick” - Tom Hiddleston

Tom Huddlestone - Tom Hiddleston

(interchangeable)

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