Nitro athletics

This is going to be WELL shit isn’t it?

Does it use actual nitro-boosters?

or those green boxes from Crash Bandicoot

unlikely, it doesn’t mention those in the headline, shame though

I like how every time the IAAF reinvent athletics competitions to try and gain a new audience they come up with an ever audacious name. The Golden League was replaced by the Diamond League, The Grand Prix with the Super Grand Prix and now we’re adding NITRO meets.

“Cue mixed events, medley relays and target javelin, with countdown clocks, athletes wearing microphones and fluorescent blocks and batons.”

I love the persisting idea that by making sports stuff fluorescent it will be more exciting.


How can Tron athletics not be exciting?

Javelin’s with targets sounds like it could be good bants.

They should’ve called in Bronze league first time



Will they ban blue shells?

combine runnning and javelin

Runners set off running

Javelin people are stood at the start line

Runnners get a few seconds start, then a second pistol sounds, and the Javelin throwers get to try and Javelin the runners

Blue shells are encouraged in Nitro Athletics.

Other changes include:

  • The steeplechase water jump will be filled with Dave Benson Phillip’s patented gunge formula.
  • In the relay the batton must be thrown from the start of the changeover box to the end of it.
  • The discus and hammer circles will be fully greased to reduce friction and increase turn speeds.
  • High, triple and long jumpers will all be assisted with a gymnastics vault springboard.
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Alright King Agamemnon.