Noah: In The Biblical Way

A biography.

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Noah was born to Yesah, a civil cervant, and Dunnoah, a fisherwoman in 1842BBC (before BC). The story of his conception is known less for the man it produced (though significant he surely is) than for its being alluded to in what has become known as THE top 40 dance hit of that particular summer – ‘Seasonal Humping’ by Scott Bovril

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Incredible foresight, this

They must have had incredible health care in those days. All those guys lived for hundreds of years.

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Methuseleh had a live-in GP

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All I wanna do is say YESAH!!

Make sense.

The first predictor of global warming. Everyone, including the made up person called Jesus, ignored him.

Impressive career ark, though

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two by two hurrah hurrah

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image

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Fond memories of being in Sunday school at about age 11 or 13, old enough to start getting a bit lippy. Me and my pal are causing dissent, asking the curate difficult questions, we asked how the old testament dudes all lived til like 900 or whatever. His answer was, I shit you not, that there used to be a layer of water surrounding the earth’s atmosphere and that kept out cosmic rays. My mate deadpan goes ‘oh yeah, it was the cosmic rays that killed my grandparents’ and the curate nodded gravely like the matter was now resolved.

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Bible fact: Yesah’s family name was Icanboogie.

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potw material, this

Every fucker on a boat, except all the things that came afterwards. Nylonase is a nylon eating bacteria, I’m not sure whether Noah had much of that.

Fucking done to bits here.

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He’d give it all up for you, Yesah would

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I hardly neouoha