Novel ways to express your love for someone

Learn how to say “I love you” in semaphore and show them while on a boat (they will be on land at the time)

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Writing “I love you” in the dedication section of your first novel

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Learn all the words to Ebeneezer Goode by The Shamen, but replace the chorus words with “I love you”. Sing / Rap it to them at a disco where you’ve prearranged with the DJ that this is ok.

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Teach a tapeworm to make a heart shape, swallow it, x-ray yourself and send her the x-rays via email

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Very romantic thread

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image

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Capture 8 woodlice (or any small insect) in a big matchbox and write or paint the letters I LOVE YOU on them then hand your partner the box to open as a lovely surprise.

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This is a great one

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Get a wig made of their exact hairdo as a testament to them and then wear it during lovemaking

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Rewrite the songs “Express Yourself” but change every the chorus to “Express Your Love”

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Change their name by deed poll to “Loved by [your name]” and don’t tell them until they renew their passport and the first application is rejected.

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Build a really big wooden boat and fill the hull with inflatable hearts and then go out to sea and set fire to the boat so that it burns to reveal all the hearts which you can then use as buoyancy aids to return to shore safely

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This is a good one, the extra effort and cost shows that you’ve really put time and effort into it which is directly proportional to love volume

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People love it when you build a really big wooden boat for them in my opinion, this is just a little trick to take it to the next love-level

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Gently cup one buttock

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Yours or theirs?

Your own

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Don’t sleep with ANY of their siblings. Not even once.

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Get them a card that says “I choo choo choose you”
Take them to Krusty the Clown anniversary special.

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What if they don’t notice?