Ok I'm biting

What does ATD stand for in the context of this forum? I cannot work it out.

Google gave me this:

All time dog.

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Thank you. My suffering is over.

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The old forums were so much better in a nasty type of way. Love it

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ATD In

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All Tomorrow’s Darties :dart:

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I guess it’s “entertaining” when you’re not the target of the nastiness and can just blithely assume that the people who are are just imaginary internet entities rather than real people.

Must be nice living in that world.

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I’d forgotten just how much silky wound up certain DiSers a few years ago. I miss him.

It wasn’t nasty in the way that reddit gets to be just awful but more of a biting comedy aspect of the whole thing. The best part about Dis is that you by and large avoid the stupidity of larger platforms with their hiveminds and bigotry

Basically what @xylo said

I really can’t agree with that. Again that weird detached internet voyeur thing of assuming that it’s all just an abstraction and not a thing about actual real people. Unless it’s a story about wanking, the story is going to involve other people, and frankly the lot of you don’t have the sensitivity, writing skills or ability to put yourselves in other people’s shoes to do that kind of thing without massively invading the other people in the story’s privacy.

Again nice you can be so detached. Must be nice to never have to bother to put yourselves in other people’s shoes.

Dis doesn’t have the detachment of other platforms like reddit, i think the community is pretty good at policing and culling people who are being horrid.

this is the kind of stuff that makes me wonder why I bother to try to carve out any space for myself and other women here.

Just the continual exhausting emotional labour of having to explain again and again in very basic broken down terms very basic aspects of being a decent human being and having any empathy or thought for others.

You’ve already lost the excellent company of @penoid for those very reasons and it’s just exhausting me too.

Ah I see I’m all wrong and you can put me right as you are a sensible person not corrupted by any personal feelings about this stuff.

Why do I bother.

Cricket

Fuck off with your stupid smug little in jokes.

That’s the thing. People like me and @anon82218317 and @penoid and others have put massive amounts of effort and work basically talking people round to not being pricks and it increasingly feels like painting the Forth Bridge.

@Mistersteve you’re probably wondering how the hell your innocent question has dredged up all this stuff and made me so angry.

Basically a couple of years ago I dated someone who was a regular on here. He wrote some intensely personal and invasive stuff about me on here as a “huh huh check out this lads” kind of story, and then being a total psycho, actually recommended I look at the site. I had to complain and get it removed and really argue to get him banned. It’s one of the most humiliating things that has ever happened to me.

Some people, noticeably penoid and darwinbabe as already mentioned and @xylo and @elthamsmateowen were really kind and supportive, but a lot of people were noticeably cunts about the whole thing (anyone feeling at this point they’re going to barge in and Well Actually me here, just sit down and shut up) and it shone a spotlight on how nasty and toxic a lot of the atmosphere/conventions on the old version of the site was.

It also made me feel like I had to fight and continually argue and convince people to be even considered actually being a human being. So when people are all flippant and “haha oh the old site was so much funnier I miss when people were continually pricks to each other” it really dredges up this whole feeling of what is horrible and painful for me is just something funny in passing for them, and reminds me that I’m very much on the edge here of being considered a real person and things could easily flip back.

Since the new version of the site launched, people have been dramatically nicer and more considerate to each other, but stuff like this still reminds me that I had to push pretty hard and use a lot of energy and mental energy that could have been used on other things to make it that way, and that perhaps the tide could turn back on me at any point and I shouldn’t get too comfortable here.

I came on here this morning to put some nice pics of Ljubljana while having some coffee at the guesthouse before going out for lunch, then basically got slapped in the face with a reminder that I can never really relax on this website.