@Mistersteve you’re probably wondering how the hell your innocent question has dredged up all this stuff and made me so angry.
Basically a couple of years ago I dated someone who was a regular on here. He wrote some intensely personal and invasive stuff about me on here as a “huh huh check out this lads” kind of story, and then being a total psycho, actually recommended I look at the site. I had to complain and get it removed and really argue to get him banned. It’s one of the most humiliating things that has ever happened to me.
Some people, noticeably penoid and darwinbabe as already mentioned and @xylo and @elthamsmateowen were really kind and supportive, but a lot of people were noticeably cunts about the whole thing (anyone feeling at this point they’re going to barge in and Well Actually me here, just sit down and shut up) and it shone a spotlight on how nasty and toxic a lot of the atmosphere/conventions on the old version of the site was.
It also made me feel like I had to fight and continually argue and convince people to be even considered actually being a human being. So when people are all flippant and “haha oh the old site was so much funnier I miss when people were continually pricks to each other” it really dredges up this whole feeling of what is horrible and painful for me is just something funny in passing for them, and reminds me that I’m very much on the edge here of being considered a real person and things could easily flip back.
Since the new version of the site launched, people have been dramatically nicer and more considerate to each other, but stuff like this still reminds me that I had to push pretty hard and use a lot of energy and mental energy that could have been used on other things to make it that way, and that perhaps the tide could turn back on me at any point and I shouldn’t get too comfortable here.
