We can get a packed lunch sent over from the canteen if we sign up for it in the morning. You can specify if you want a chocolate bar or crisps or a piece of fruit, but not which ones. However, they’re not all the same - sometimes the chocolate might be a Penguin, sometimes it’s a delicious Tunnock’s Caramel Wafer. Some of the apples will be Granny Smith, others will actually be edible. You get the picture.
They all get delivered together to the office kitchen. Here’s the scandal: the people who see the delivery happen have apparently been heading straight to the kitchen after the delivery and swapping packed lunch items around so they get the best ones!
I’ve got a packed lunch today. If I catch any of those cunts trying to do me out of a Tunnock’s Caramel Wafer I will NOT be held responsible for my actions.