Online Chat

Dunno, what are we doing? It’s been lovely chatting with you.

Thanks a lot, you too. Have a lovely evening!

Please answer my survey after we’re done and if you rate me badly just remember we have your address on file

Perhaps would could monetise our time on here by making ourselves available for companies to use as some kind of chat resource.

Possibly the internet equivalent of hold music.

“While you’re waiting to speak to the carphone warehouse, what’s the average amount of water you normally put in the kettle?”


Wow, this is actually a great idea. Maybe we could all get free phones for our time?

You have been really helpful today. Thank you so much for that.

Most of my online chat experience:

10:31 [you are currently being assigned a chat agent]
10:31 [Chad is here to help]
10:31 [Chad] Hello, how can I help you today?
10:31 [ma0sm] Yeah, I made an order with reference 0891505050 and it arrived broken, the thing was in pieces in the box. Can I get a refund or send it back?
11:24 [Chad] Sorry about the wait, let me look into that for you now. Can you please confirm your address for me?
11:27 [Chad] Are you still there?
11:29 [Chad] I’ll have to close the session if you don’t respond, are you there?
[chat session closed]
11:30 [ma0sm] FOR FUCKS SAKE


I think we could point any interested companies to our vast CV of timewasting chat if they needed evidence.

Yeah this was attempt number three with Voders. And no I don’t know my memorable word. Is it cunt?

No there isn’t thank you.
xylo: ok thanks Balonz
Thanks for your help today
xylo: no problem, you have a great evening
yes you too!
xylo: good bye then
xylo: have a good evening
you too
xylo: goodbye



I used to work in a Customer Service position with Amazon. Was the king of double chat. Two customers at once? No problem. Just let me lash on some Slayer in the headphones and let me get to work.

Just lay me down in the tall grass and let me do my stuff

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why did you send your shoe to vodaphone

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Someone please make a song out of this.

i’ve started to do web chat at work

it’s… interesting

Some of my finest working moments have been composing chatbot responses

Where I work rolled out a chatbot a few months ago. Lots of colleagues in the head office in weird denial about the fact that people are losing their jobs because of it