I know that, that’s what makes it frustrating.
Just asked a Tinder match what she was looking for on Tinder and got this response…
Oh yeah, that kind of thing
What’s a happines? Sounds like a type of fruit.
please send “alright Ken Dodd” as a response
Obvs a joke
haven’t ever really done online dating but resigned to the fact i will have to eventually or die alone -
i think it’s a necessary evil for people who don’t have a natural witty repertoire in conventional situations where you meet and socialise with people, isn’t it? not directed at you, but i find it’s often people who’ve never had much difficulty meeting folk/getting into a relationship who get all condescending about it and say ‘there’s more important things in life’
I would agree with you in that it’s not as easy as saying “there’s more to life” but I don’t think it requires a natural witty repertoire either.
There’s all sorts of people out there, just being able to be comfortable in your own skin and/or having a passion or an interest goes a long way.
witty repertoire perhaps not necessary but in any social situation where there’s a group of people around - i, personally find it very difficult to connect with people. again, no offence but i feel there’s a bit of condescension here. being comfortable in your own skin is a bit vague, and easier said than done if that’s an issue in the first place.
as for passions, i’ve been going to gigs my whole life and have never met/got talking to anyone in those situations, where you presume people share your interest.
it really is not easy, i can’t emphasise it enough.
Apologies if my initial comment came of as condescending I definitely don’t want to speak over your experiences. What I was trying to point out was that, what sometimes appears natural can often be to some degree a product of experience and learning.
As mentioned elsewhere when it comes to dating, I was, and despite my current status still am really, someone who found the whole process difficult. You’re right in saying “comfortable in your own skin” is a bit vague, what I was more alluding to was the idea of extroversion being necessary when it comes to dating. I’d definitely agree it helps but, for me anyway, a lot of what helped me was being able to be comfortable expressing myself in conversation with other people. I don’t think it’s a simple thing but I do think it’s something that can be learnt.
I know what you mean about gigs but funnily enough meeting people from here made me feel a lot more comfortable about chatting to randoms.
bumble is weird. got a load of matches in the first few days, (including 2 literally in the first 10 minutes) and arranged a few dates (though one girl who seemed stupidly enthusiastic cancelled on me twice so I’ve given up on her). since then, basically nothing.
no worries! i see what you’re saying. it’s something that takes a lot of learning and to me, at the moment, the only way i could see myself connecting with someone is in a one-on-one situation where you know the person actually wants to talk to you. ideally maybe that could give you more confidence to approach people in other situations.
the whole ‘find someone who shares your interests’ thing has always felt like a bit of a lie to me - i’ve often been around people who in theory have similar interests and passions to me, and it doesn’t stop them ignoring or blanking you all the same. if the attraction isn’t there it doesn’t matter.
disclaimer: i seem to be uniquely socially incapable/ invisible so i should probably just be speaking for myself here and no one else.
I quite like not having the pressure of talking first mind
I was sceptical of Bumble before I tried it. My experience of Tinder was that women only very rarely sent the first message, so having an app where that was the whole idea seemed doomed to failure. I’d estimate about a quarter of my matches never sent a message.
In the end though, it wasn’t too bad. Met someone on Bumble a month ago and we’ve been out a few times already and things seem to be going well!
jesus, matched with one of the most absolutely gorgeous women I’ve ever seen and I am FREAKING OUT (best delete the app and pretend it never happened eh)
I’m debating giving it up cause I’m getting no matches at all. Occasionally I’ll get a couple, but no messages or owt.
Don’t know if Tinder would be a better shout.
I did meet someone I liked recently (just a passing thing, I’ll never see her again) and it was nice to feel that kind of excitement bc apps and stuff just feels like scanning through a grimly satirical yet moderately arousing catalogue
I’ve mentioned this before on here, but will again
Stick a new photo or 2 on. The app seems to start showing you to people again if you do this.
It’ll take me sixty years to find a decent-looking photo and approximately sixty-eight to successfully take one
Copenhagen tinder is absolutely ridiculous
Oh shiiiit I got matched with someone I vaguely know, which I assume on my end happened the other day when I got bored and swiped right continuously for a full song; and that I assume happened on her end as a manifestation of some sort of postmodernist ironism
She unmaaatched, it would seem. Cripes, I hope we don’t run into one another any time soon