Opposite sex friendships

Yes i have close female friends

If my girlfriend is shouting ‘Look at her minge!’ in the other room, I know this is on the television.

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i only had one or two guy friends when i was at school (cheers, single sex schools!) and all the toxicity of being in an all-girls school meant that I much preferred being around men after that and was desperate for them to like me, whereas I felt suspicious and competitive with most women, even my friends. these days i have much a healthier mindset about female friendships and am much more appreciative of them, but most of my closest friends are still men.

whereas the traditional ‘men and women can’t be friends!’ thing assumes both are straight and will be attracted to each other, my best friend is a gay man and there was some bumpiness a few months ago because i started boffing a mutual friend who he’d previously been friends with benefits with, and he felt weird about it.

i find the concept of female-only hen dos and male-only stag dos soooooo weird. either you have no friends of the opposite sex, or you’re happy just to bin them off for the day for the sake of tradition??

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In experience, it’s because men are macho babies and want to ‘get stuff out of their system’ before settling down, which in itself says quite a bit about the general attitudes of men towards women and relationships and responsibilities generally.

Most stag parties will involve prostitutes or a last fling or in the very least strippers. Lots of people seem in denial about this. Lots of men are in denial that hen parties often won’t involve similar.

It’s all pretty immature, isn’t it? I think it’s cool as fuck that a few of the guys on here have had or been on stag parties that have basically just involved an activity and a big bowl of chilli.

Loads of mates (of both people)
Rent a house in the countryside somewhere
Bag of cans (large)

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I don’t understand the impulse for gravitating towards almost exclusively same-sex friendships. Life and friendship dynamics are just more interesting when it’s not just a bunch of guys - depresses me a bit when men talk about “nights out with the lads” as if women are some massive burden or whatever.

But then I’m the sort of spokesperson for social ineptitude who uses the phrase “friendship dynamics” so I don’t make friends male or female that often

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I agree. My group of friends is totally mixed - me and the other lads go to the hen do’s and some of the girls are coming to my stag later this year. #ladsladsladies

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wish there were some more working class voices in this thread, it’s not very easy to make friends of the opposite sex from my background

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My friend’s stag do involved go-karting, a barbecue, and playing the XBox until about 3 in the morning (me cackling at my Call of Duty tactic of lying down, crawling around and randomly knifing at the air / occasionally another player). His fiance’s hen do was a murder mystery night.

I was in awe at imagining what it could have been like if they had been combined into a go-kart-based murder mystery event. Might start a Patreon for it

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I went on a three day stag that consisted of Zoo Lates (going round London zoo in the dark with added beer), then a Spa Day followed by pizza & Con Air, London to Brighton cycle on day three :slight_smile:

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I know exactly what you mean. Being from a small town, I do find (a) there’s barely anyone my age, and (b) the “friendship dynamics” (my trademark phrase again) tend a bit towards the more conservative. It’s the shit thing about there still being “boy’s jobs” and “girl’s jobs” and all that, so working life ends up (more or less) segregated, and so does social life.

Just from my personal experience, tbf, and I’m an awkward prick who doesn’t talk to anyone. I definitely spent a few years round here nostalgic for my uni days when I had more friends generally, as well as more female friends.

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All my friends are male, the only female friends are partners of other friends. I get on really well with them and consider them all friends but it wouldn’t have happened otherwise I don’t think.

Not for any particular reason - maybe being a weird, shy prick at uni didn’t lend itself to making friends outside the few male friends I had and all my friends from school are males as well

don’t think most people here really understand small town folk as they either were from cities or moved there as soon as possible. Not their fault but some people have a different experience.

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I think so, it’s just the cost investment in time and money to go and do anything aside from pub means you don’t get put in a situation to make new friends easily.

Don’t think you should really start chatting to a random stranger in a pub as that’s weird behaviour, doubly so if you are a man and they are a woman as it could be seen as threatening or creepy.

Talking of men only stag dos, mate went on one of these coupla years ago. Genuinely my idea of hell. Can’t believe it even exists.

“Take the lads into the field of battle and train yourselves for combat with a variety of adrenaline-pumping activities that’ll see you escape from the virtual arenas of Call of Duty into the rough, all-terrain ‘warzones’ you’ll take on during your day of military ‘training’. Form up

The lack of real understanding / communication between city people and small town people (with a load of factors at play: the fucked-ness of social facilities, the difference between what’s invested in London and outside, etc.) is definitely a pretty important issue now, esp. considering the Great Brexit Nightmare

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idk man. i’m also from this small town background where things are v conservative but if you make friends online then it really doesn’t matter? yes there is the £ involved if you want to see your far-away friends occasionally but i have close friends of the opposite sex that i see very rarely and have never seen frequently because of them living far away.

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basically if you don’t live in a city, The Internet exists and is quite helpful for bridging some divides

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Aye, I should probably more of an effort to actually meet people I get along with online.

(while not compromising the awkward prick-iness that is my stock in trade of course)