People still isolating/not being social/socially awkward 4 life

What the hell are you finding to talk about with other adults when the opportunity arises?

Still finding it really tough going conversation wise even though all the stuff i previously talked about was probably nothing to do with me being social and was old stories or daft facts etc.

I’ve been relistening to No Such Thing As A Fish episodes to provide me with some ‘did you know’ fodder.

What about you? Trying desperately not to fall back on kid talk or idk, just complaining :see_no_evil:

1 Like

I’ve had a couple dates post lockdown. Fortunately we both like the same tv shows and wrestling as well as more generic stuff.

When I’ve met mates just talked about the usual shite. Most of my mates I’ve made through gigs or otherwise through music so that helps.

1 Like

Also finding not drinking very hard for this reason for the first time in like 5 years. Have had quite a bit of full alcohol wine lately just to make me feel more chatty and I’ve been pretty much sober until then :pensive:

1 Like

I don’t talk to other adults with any regularity so I don’t know. In any case I never did know what stuff to talk about even pre-covid so i hope others have some good suggestions.

I guess normally I try to find something like music or tv that the other person might have an opinion on, like “have you listened to the new album by …”. I am shit at conversation though and people hardly ever start conversations with me so i don’t have much to go on.

1 Like

how many doors are in your house

20 Likes

Also scoured my old threads for puns I can re-use when the opportunity arises

1 Like

Same here really. And for years most conversations have been with other parents so there’s always something to fall back on.

I’m really not great at making conversation either but when I’ve had a few drinks, like most people, it’s no issue, so I keep hoping that I find a way to unlock that conversation/confidence bit of my brain without booze and I just can’t do it unless it’s talking about stuff probably too specific to me.

Bookmarked this reply

1 Like

I also feel like I end up steering conversation into more serious territory or big issues and whilst that’s great sometimes I’m struggling with middle ground stuff

I’ve hardly talked to anybody other than close family and a tiny number of colleagues for more than a year now. Not lockdown related, but the horribly antisocial hours my (no longer) new job entails. It’s driving me to distraction, frankly

Thankfully, I might be able to escape it soon

Just back from dinner with old friends. Spent the whole time talking about a holiday we had in Spain eight years ago :man_shrugging:

(it was lovely)

5 Likes

I haven’t done this but when I hear colleagues talking about ‘normal life things’ like travelling to places, getting haircuts or going to a pub or whatever I feel like a total fucking hermit. Really feel like a sadsack recluse. I don’t hold it against them though, fair play to them. It just isn’t an option for me. Pre-Christmas my opinion would have been different but it is what it is.

Can’t wait for it to be safe enough for me to get back to some sort of normality but I imagine that will be 6 months or so after the majority.

No idea what I’ll talk to people about. I’m so, so up for meeting people now so in a way it’s chilled me ‘dating’ wise. I duno what I can talk to them about really tho but at the same time, I was scared of how I’d even be able to converse with the people at the vaccine centre. Proper verging on panic attack stuff for days, purely cos I hadn’t smalltalked with people for over a year. I was fine and ENJOYED IT. Kind of wanted to stay and talk to all the staff haha.

2 Likes

Yeah the guy I’m seeing goes out like 5 nights a week and I haven’t been out for 5 years, lol, so even pre pandemic it’s tough to not just talk about work or whatever. We chat fairly easily so I’m not worried about that really but I’m still very conscious that I’m making quite an effort to seem less like a hermit by sort of forcing myself into entertainer mode… so it can be exhausting at times given how introverted I am these days and no new events happening in my life for so long.

But when I get introduced to a new parent outside school or whatever I just shy away and I always have tbh but even more so now. I remember seeing something about how you shouldn’t ask what job people have as the job doesn’t define them etc but I feel like this sort of stuff make conversations unnecessary difficult for people who already struggle.

(Also it’s weird to not ask about what someone spends the bulk of their life doing)

3 Likes

yeah sometimes ask people on dating apps what their job is and then immediately cringe and start worrying that i come across as the most basic person ever

think you sometimes have to ask that stuff cos it can lead to more interesting conversations though.

roll my eyes when people are like ‘i don’t do small talk’. small talk leads to big talk you sociopaths!

7 Likes

Yeah it totally get why people say not to ask but I think it should be more that you don’t read into it. I mean someone could hate their job or feel its not worthy enough of conversation or whatever, and having worked in bars for years and seeing how differently people treated me when compared to when i later revealed I also worked on x, y and z, I get it. But some people’s job and their colleagues and all the tangents related to it are definitely worthy of getting to know. Plus it’s weird to just be like “not interested in what you do” because even if it’s mundane you still want people to be interested in you.

3 Likes

I guess the old failsafe is asking questions, as many as possible without it being an interrogation. I also like to drop in some weird honesty to loosen things up, “finding socialising again really strange, worried I’ll let my inner monologue out or something! How are you finding it?” And then people tend to drop their guard a bit and you get to commiserate on how gruelling it all is. Or they’re social superstars and you just ask all the questions again.

Gotta go to a baby shower tomorrow and, lovely as it is to be included, dreading it a bit.

4 Likes

I’ve spoken to people at football, people I get along with, but I’ve just been anxious and all my ‘conversation’ comes out in a panicked torrent of awkward jokey nothingness

spending the past 11 months razed to the ground as a person means I mostly have nothing on my mind, and what I do have on my mind is just emotional flashbacks/invasive thoughts

also my voice dysphoria is back to nearly pre-2018 levels

1 Like

Recently resorted to answering work chat of “get up to much this weekend?” with a description of some really boring thing I’m thinking about buying. Got some solid hammock talk in today.

My hope is that people will eventually stop asking.

4 Likes

Well this is it, I can talk for ages about my new kitchen tap but who the hell wants that?

I do.

Tell me about your kitchen taps. This is why dis is the place for me.

7 Likes

Honestly, you want to go duller than hammock, that sounds interesting and I would like to know more about the purchase decision.

6 Likes