People who need to be in a relationship


#41

I do sometimes worry that, on the extreme off-chance I was in a relationship, I’d never have time to myself for reading / making music / whatever.

Which is maybe a dumb thing to worry about. But I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship if it meant compromising totally on being able to have at least some time to myself.

Note to the reader: none of this is a euphemism for wanking


#42

It’s a fine thing to worry about.

Of course I have loads of time to myself if I want it but when the TV is starting a new Netflix series it’s hard to resist.

On my own I just wouldn’t have put it on in the first place


#43

it’s not a dumb thing to worry about because many relationships do seem like this from the outside. it’s so weird to me, i understand in the initial/early stages of a relationship wanting to spend all your time with somebody but when people have been going out for years and they still live in each others pockets? not for me clive. i guess that’s ‘love’ though, i wouldn’t know about it


#44

I remember when I was younger and in love and in a relationship and it was easily the most intense happiness I’ve ever felt.

Bit sad that I’ve probably aged out of having that kind of feeling now.

Still there’s good things about getting older like getting into board games and drinking coffee!


#45

It’s sad that we see ‘a relationship’ as a distinct category of social relations, imo. I mean sure, we’re all products of history, both ours and the world’s. But I think real happiness, free from a fear of loss, can be found in breaking down the boundaries between ‘relationships’ and ‘friendships’, and instituting a simpler idea of a sort of kinship that finds its level where need meets desire, and abandons our ‘obligations’ towards another as not just undesireable, but socially unnecessary.

I think a world like that is possible, but it needs people to actively work towards it with a selfless spirit, rather than anxiously hoard what they already have behind the borders of their relationships. Definitely not gonna claim to be that kind of person myself - it’s just an ubermensch-ian ideal that we can work towards through openness, self-reflexivity and a powerful desire to love.

Thanks for listening.


#46

I think I also agree in principle but am too insecure to be able to contemplate this


#47

Can’t imagine ever being in a relationship. Haven’t met anyone in my adult life who I’ve felt comfortable to even to talk to without other people being around. Makes me feel uneasy thinking about the prospect of waking up next to someone etc.


#48

I like the idea of having someone to verbalize my unbelievably stupid 2am thoughts to


#49

But the world is built on routine and some kind of stability

Say I had a partner who was upset but I didn’t really feel like consoling them at that time, because I was acting on instinct, what would happen then?

I guess I’m quite pessimistic in that I think essentially all human beings are self serving to some degree.


#50

is this like what relationship anarchy is?


#51

as someone who is currently coming out of a 20 year relationship and living on their own for the first time, the thought of being single is absolutely terrifying. I hope this will change over the coming months and I can try and enjoy being single. It has to really or I’m fucked.


#52

Ten people who NEED to be in a relationship:

Kerry
Rachel
Colette
Lisa
Abigail

Mark
Sam
Shaun
Victor
Drew

:see_no_evil::see_no_evil::hear_no_evil::speak_no_evil:


#53

Polyamory taken to the next level.


#54

I think I fall in love too easily


#55

It takes time to get used to being in a relationship and time to get used to not being in one.


#56

I think there’s a gendered aspect to that reaction as well. There’s the thought that any woman could get into a relationship if they wanted to, whereas some men never can because they aren’t hot/tall/rich enough. So the men might be pitied for not having experienced that, but the women would be judged as if they have deliberately chosen to shun social convention.