Petty grudges

Back in uni, my band had a gig in Southampton and were looking for a rehearsal space to practice one last time before the show as I was on placement that year so couldn’t rehearse as much.

Found a place in the yellow pages, and the price was decent enough. Got there, met the owner and quickly became evident it was his apartment, but whatever, all we needed was the space and power points, we had all of the equipment ready to go. We set up, drums, amps, PA etc. and then kicked into a song to warm up. By the end of the song, when the volume died down, we heard ferocious banging at the door. It was someone from the shop next door. Turns out that th flat has no soundproofing, and insisted we needed to stop or they’d call the police. They said this wasn’t the first time this had happened and were not amused by the whole situation.

We tried phoning the guy whose space it was again and again but after 45 minutes or so realised he wasn’t going to respond, had our money and we couldn’t rehearse.

I pissed in all of his pot plants around the flat. Then we left.


Your first mistake was going to Southampton


I love how mild this is as an act of revenge. “Lets not go crazy here lads, try not to get any on the rug, we’re not animals”.


At an old job there were several offices off a corridor. They offices got really hot during the day as there were no windows, but if you opened both the office door and the communal door it let some fresh air in as there was a big shutter door nearby, so I’d do this, but every time I opened the communal door it would be closed again within minutes.

Some absolute Nigel from one of the other offices appointed himself foreman of the building and after a brief stint of SAS door closing he became a bit ratty and you could hear him chubtering about, then a sign appeared on the door saying “This door MUST REMAIN CLOSED”. He’d used one of those little handheld label printers to do it.

We moved to a nicer floor eventually. I bought one of the label printers second hand off Ebay and on the day we moved I made a label saying “You are a VERY BORING MAN” and put it over his. Safe to say, I had the last laugh. We’d cross paths in the building now and again later and he pretended it didn’t still haunt him.


got a big not so petty grudge rn involving my mate.

asked him 7 days ago whether he could recommend a gestor (someone who basically deals with bureaucracy on your behalf, not quite an accountant) and he was like yeah mine’s good i’ll send the details! never sent the details. prodded him again this evening and got an instant response - ‘hey dude! sure!’. still no details.

thing is, I’m storing a tonne of desks and chairs for him free of charge. and have been for about 9 months now. thinking there might be a little accident involving an axe quite soon…


Quiet menace there, like it. Moving into “vendetta” territory.

i might waive the desks thing and put this in the back pocket for something else down the line. maybe when he’s stranded up a mountain or something (he’s an outdoorsy guy) and he’s texting me for help.

‘hey dude! sure!’.

imagine doing your food shop at a place called Woolworths. would be constantly thinking about pick n mix and smashed up dusty display cd cases.


That a song as melodramatic and over-emotional as “I Believe I Can Fly” stopped absolute banger “Song 2” from getting to number one. Still hate it and I haven’t ever seen Space Jam as a result.

The fact that R Kelly is an absolute dreadful wrong’un only makes the whole thing worse.

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This is really incredible. The guy was in the fucking Yellow Pages AND using his own address?!

I mean surely it can’t have been long until he got a band in who’d absolutely fuck either the place up or him by waiting for him to come home.


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The logo is so different and when you’re inside it’s exactly like a Tesco so that feeling quickly fades.

I’m pretty sure I read it’s nothing to do with the original Woolworth’s either.

If only they’d called it “Song 1”…


This goes beyond “petty grudge” to “cutting your nose off to spite your face” I feel.


TBF it’s a movie aimed at kids and I was 22 in 97 so it wasn’t exactly for me :smiley:


I will never listen to Damn the Torpedoes ever again.


I’ve never seen it either but I plan to live to a ripe old age so I’m not ruling it out completely.

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You should also do something to the tables and chairs.

You can jump right in with the sequel, COMING SOON

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Regrettably I would imagine that will happen if my daughter likes the idea

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I have to be honest this feels a bit like you’re not really trying.

I mean sometimes people message me at a bad time and so I’ll say, “Yeah I’ll do that and it doesn’t happen,” but if they ring me or message me in a way that is, “Yeah I actually really need this very soon, it’s really important can you sort it,” I’d either say, “remind me in 5 hours as I can’t do it right now and I will forget” or I’d do it then if I could.