Let’s spice up this Monday, yeah?
I’m not one for screaming and shouting, if someone is an arse then I wait. Two examples to get it started;
- once found loads of strands of hair (that wasn’t mine) in my bed when I was with an ex. Didn’t say anything, just waited for a week. Now, I make really good chocolate chip cookies. Amazon sells chocolate laxatives. My ex worked night shifts, so I got home in the evening, made a batch, he popped in before he started to drop a change of clothes off, hey babes I made you these, no I won’t have any I’m on a diet, have fun at work
- someone really close to me was with someone they worked with for eight months, they found out that for three of those months the other person had another girlfriend. Now, I’d seen reviews of these sugar free jelly beans (maybe posted on here?) that are apparently delicious but will well and truly give you the epimers. You know damn well I sent my friend the link after a fortnight had passed, she ordered them, got the office apprentice to give them to her ex and long story short he shat himself in his Mercedes that he has on finance.
Obviously I’m not condoning giving someone laxatives and these two examples were very bad of me but… funny innit. NOW YOU