I’m the person who invented the phrase ‘You can lead a wolf to water but you can’t make it drink.’
3 Likes
“That’s a whole different kettle of bricks.”
1 Like
Manners are for spanners
Not me but M. Something pieces you out if its itchy but now we use it for irritating feelings more generally.
Stop piecing me out please.
4 Likes
Not sure if this is a phrase or a custom but its certainly utter bs.
If i eat pudding before my main (this is exclusvely reserved for me earing a mars ice cream on my way home from work sometimes) i just shrug and say to myself “its the Chinese way” based on me imagining they eat puddings first in china despite knowing deep down they don’t.
6 Likes
As a specialist in Medical Genetics, I sometimes find myself tempted to request massively overcomplicated genomic investigations when a simple blood test or Xray might do instead. Have become fond of the excuse “to a man holding a sledgehammer everything looks like a nut”.
6 Likes
The road that led to the death of our mothers
3 Likes
Hongry - hot, hungry and angry
7 Likes
Nono is better than mono - used on the schoolbus to scorn headphone sharers. Might have actually been Matty who invented this one
Horngry - hot, horny, hungry and angry
4 Likes
Dodgy British stuff in a van or a taxi
3 Likes
Keep going… 
Straight yellow.
Emma once said someone thought they were “the funniest pig at the disco” so now we say that quite a lot.
10 Likes
Unsure if anyone else uses By my Ken instead of that’s what I think, but it’s definitely something I happened upon
1 Like
Have a variant of this for someone thinking they’re a chocolate santa
2 Likes
If you’ll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
I can call you Betty
And Betty, when you call me, you can by my Ken.
2 Likes
That’s alright by my ken.
2 Likes
I like this one
1 Like
Neck it Ralph