#41

Needs something to improve flavour.

#42

i might start saying ‘lovely, lovely thing’ a la torode

#43

1 Like
#44

Everything is content at the moment. People I like are ‘excellent human content’. Spice the gerbil is ‘high quality rodent content’. Etc etc etc.

I’m also really enjoying describing sexual things in the most nauseatingly childish way possible.
Favourites:
Performing a blow job = giving his willy a kiss
Semen = man milk
Coitus = doing a sex
(This might be why I’ve not engaged in any sexual content with a person since January)

2 Likes
#45

You need to get back to grown up terms like “slaying hot puss”.

6 Likes
#46

I’m sitting with my mum and grandparents and trying not to laugh enough for them to ask what I’m laughing about

3 Likes
#47

“Don’t worry, nan. I’m just thinking about getting totally fucking boned.”

1 Like
#48

put on our tuxedos?

#49

Simpsons quotes all the time, obviously.

Most commonly used:

  • ‘That’s not even Mexico’
  • Homer’s Gamblor quote, but used in different contexts. For example, if my housemate was spending loads of time with his girlfriend and I missed him (totally not happening right now btw), then I might say ‘I CALL HER GIRLBLOR, AND ITS TIME TO SNATCH YOU BACK FROM HER NEON CLAWS’.
  • Please don’t tell anyone how I live
  • Well I would suggest, Mr. Vanocur, that if you knew the President, that that was just a facetious remark.
  • THE MAN NEVER DRUNK A BRAND BEER IN HIS LIFE
#50

also, stock response to anyone asking me what I’d do in X hypothetical situation:

2 chicks at the same time, man.

and I also mimic withnail from withnail and I quite a lot.

I’m a fucking nightmare to be around.

1 Like
#51

CAKE AND THE FINEST WINES KNOWN TO HUMANITY

3 Likes
#52

SCRUBBERS!!!

SCRUBBERS!!!

not actually to anyone, obviously. just when I’m the passenger in a car and feel like shouting something out the window when there aren’t members of the public around.

1 Like
#53

all right, this is the plan. we get in there and we get wrecked.

3 Likes
#55

When going to the bar: “I’ll get the drinks in!” and “I’ve got the lads in, gonna have a great time.”

Stock response to what are you doing tonight: “going to a pop concert/doing the hits.”

5 Likes
#56

Baked potato saved my life

1 Like
#57

“What’s the vibe in [place]?” has become something of a phrase for me too.

#58

Whenever people are talking about whether they prefer one thing or another I’ll say “different >things< for different needs”, like yer man Gareth from The Office. That’s not that good tho, need to come up with some new material

1 Like
#59

“What is this white nonsense” (which I think is from Kimmy Schmidt) when confronted with something like people doing yoga in a park, or a band with a double bass player, or the most egregious street food stands, or the Holi colour run. Y’know, white nonsense.

2 Likes
#60

Always assumed those colour runs were for charity, really weird they’re not

2 Likes
#61

i used “we’ve gone on holiday by mistake” at the weekend (had to drive quite far to go to a wedding) but my boyfriend didn’t get it

1 Like