#45

You need to get back to grown up terms like “slaying hot puss”.

6 Likes
#46

I’m sitting with my mum and grandparents and trying not to laugh enough for them to ask what I’m laughing about

3 Likes
#47

“Don’t worry, nan. I’m just thinking about getting totally fucking boned.”

1 Like
#48

put on our tuxedos?

#49

Simpsons quotes all the time, obviously.

Most commonly used:

  • ‘That’s not even Mexico’
  • Homer’s Gamblor quote, but used in different contexts. For example, if my housemate was spending loads of time with his girlfriend and I missed him (totally not happening right now btw), then I might say ‘I CALL HER GIRLBLOR, AND ITS TIME TO SNATCH YOU BACK FROM HER NEON CLAWS’.
  • Please don’t tell anyone how I live
  • Well I would suggest, Mr. Vanocur, that if you knew the President, that that was just a facetious remark.
  • THE MAN NEVER DRUNK A BRAND BEER IN HIS LIFE
#50

also, stock response to anyone asking me what I’d do in X hypothetical situation:

2 chicks at the same time, man.

and I also mimic withnail from withnail and I quite a lot.

I’m a fucking nightmare to be around.

1 Like
#51

CAKE AND THE FINEST WINES KNOWN TO HUMANITY

3 Likes
#52

SCRUBBERS!!!

SCRUBBERS!!!

not actually to anyone, obviously. just when I’m the passenger in a car and feel like shouting something out the window when there aren’t members of the public around.

1 Like
#53

all right, this is the plan. we get in there and we get wrecked.

3 Likes
#55

When going to the bar: “I’ll get the drinks in!” and “I’ve got the lads in, gonna have a great time.”

Stock response to what are you doing tonight: “going to a pop concert/doing the hits.”

5 Likes
#56

Baked potato saved my life

1 Like
#57

“What’s the vibe in [place]?” has become something of a phrase for me too.

#58

Whenever people are talking about whether they prefer one thing or another I’ll say “different >things< for different needs”, like yer man Gareth from The Office. That’s not that good tho, need to come up with some new material

1 Like
#59

“What is this white nonsense” (which I think is from Kimmy Schmidt) when confronted with something like people doing yoga in a park, or a band with a double bass player, or the most egregious street food stands, or the Holi colour run. Y’know, white nonsense.

2 Likes
#60

Always assumed those colour runs were for charity, really weird they’re not

2 Likes
#61

i used “we’ve gone on holiday by mistake” at the weekend (had to drive quite far to go to a wedding) but my boyfriend didn’t get it

1 Like
#62

The thinly veiled was drunk and told me to “piss you” rather than fuck you or piss off when I was winding her up recently, so we’ve kind of stuck to using that with each other in a cute/nauseating way now.

2 Likes
#63

Toodle-pip, and i hate myself for doing so. Total meat balloon behaviour.

#64

Peace, one love!

#65

bang up - to express interest in attending a social engagement
actually bang up - to indicate intent to attend a social engagement
un - to disagree
donied - to suffer a misfortune, e.g I was donied by a vending machine today. based upon the character donny from the big lebowski