"Piss or get off the pot"

“Shit or get off the can”

“Urinate or step away from the urinal”

“Poop or leave the John”

A stitch in time saves lives

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In our house we stick with that age old maxim of:

“Push out your wee wee or you’ll have an accident in your cat trousers and we’ll both be sad”


I might start using that one, thanks Scout x

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You’re very welcome. Glad I could be of assistance x

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Defecate or evacuate*

*the area, not your bowels

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In my house we’ve always said ‘Push out your wee wee or you’ll have an accident in your cat trousers and we’ll both be sad’


“This is it gentleman, the final countdown, the big day, game time. It’s fuck or be fucked, gentleman. Fuck. Or be fucked…” - Opening line of my next screenplay

I am genuinely impressed by your bravery in this anecdote.


Have a wank or don’t, that’s quite personal

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I’m sorry that someone said that to you but I really like the phrase itself.

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Your positivity is inspirational

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How about
Piss then get off the pot

That’s quite the compliment, imo. All of the fun, none of the mess. That’s all upside.


Heh, nice one Einstein

Took me a good few reads of the thread title to realise this wasn’t some 420 thread.

But you knew better.

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All talk, also an amount of trousers

I used to work with a guy who hated the job but didn’t want to leave or get a different job he’d like. He took a year of sabbatical (which is how I got the job full time) and then made my life difficult by trying to extend the sabbatical by ignoring all correspondence from HR or people who knew him at work because he couldn’t decide if he was coming back.

Wor Lass still refers to him as Shitpan now in tribute to his inability to shit or get off the pan. He moved to California last year.