Policies UKIP should adopt now we are out of the EU


Make the 99 flake 99p again!

Obviously this should be done by buying the brand off Cadbury’s and subsidising it rather then compromise on portion size.


Make dog poo white again!


End all political correctness. Apparently it’s gone mad.

End anything approaching health and safety too. Everything was better back in the day.


Pretend that motorway signs have been changed to Kilometres, and get them moved back to miles again


End vitamin D deficiency for all, not just those wearing hijabs


Self flagellation


start really liking immigrants


All work above head height to be carried out by standing on spinning office chairs


They should definitely adopt a spell-checking policy, saw a glorious ‘Intergration not multi-culturalism’ (sic) sign twice on a drive back from Wales today.


Bent cucumbers.


Compulsory Punch and Judy lessons at schools.


Allow people to say ‘Christmas’ and ‘Baa baa black sheep’ again


Elect Kip to be leader of UKIP so our thing can be ‘U, Kip!’ as a part of a viral rebranding scheme.


abortions for some, miniature british flags for others


Call Easter eggs Easter eggs


Repeal the legislation that gets people thrown in jail for saying they’re proud to be British.


Ban foreign herbs and spices.
Tough on flavour, tough on the causes of flavour.


more pints for all.


bring back calling mince pies christmas pies


minimum of 6 hours a day to be spent respecting troops