Policies UKIP should adopt now we are out of the EU


#1

Make the 99 flake 99p again!

Obviously this should be done by buying the brand off Cadbury’s and subsidising it rather then compromise on portion size.


#2

Make dog poo white again!


#3

End all political correctness. Apparently it’s gone mad.

End anything approaching health and safety too. Everything was better back in the day.


#4

Pretend that motorway signs have been changed to Kilometres, and get them moved back to miles again


#5

End vitamin D deficiency for all, not just those wearing hijabs


#6

Self flagellation


#7

start really liking immigrants


#8

All work above head height to be carried out by standing on spinning office chairs


#9

They should definitely adopt a spell-checking policy, saw a glorious ‘Intergration not multi-culturalism’ (sic) sign twice on a drive back from Wales today.


#10

Bent cucumbers.


#11

Compulsory Punch and Judy lessons at schools.


#12

Allow people to say ‘Christmas’ and ‘Baa baa black sheep’ again


#13

Elect Kip to be leader of UKIP so our thing can be ‘U, Kip!’ as a part of a viral rebranding scheme.


#14

abortions for some, miniature british flags for others


#15

Call Easter eggs Easter eggs


#16

Repeal the legislation that gets people thrown in jail for saying they’re proud to be British.


#17

Ban foreign herbs and spices.
Tough on flavour, tough on the causes of flavour.


#18

more pints for all.


#19

bring back calling mince pies christmas pies


#20

minimum of 6 hours a day to be spent respecting troops