Post-Ashes cricket thread 🦗



More of the manner of making the junior player cheat on their behalf isn’t it? Makes them seem right cunts.

All a bit over the top but still very enjoyable.



Wasn’t cheating - not in the spirit no, but not cheating


And Paine is now captain


All sportspeople cheat. Every great cricket team will have cheated. Every top level athlete dopes. We should change out attitudes towards cheating and just allow it completely on every level.


You mean…have no rules?


I see your point, but we’re talking about the Australians here…


Starc and Hazelwood reportedly saying that they weren’t aware about it and were shocked that Smith says the leadership group knew.

Lovely stuff.


Softer than the skin of the pommiest Pom that ever pommed.


This is nonsense pal


Finding the whole “Baggy Green as irreproachable moral standard” thing a bit amusing.
This is the team that basically professionalised sledging and that used to feature Shane Warne?


I’m a bit torn here. I think that this would be outrageously harsh, and I don’t think cricket would gain from losing one of the best batsmen of this generation - but on the other hand I might never have to see or hear about David Warner again. :thinking:


life ban is wayyyyy too far. Strip him of the captaincy (and warner of VC), make it clear they can never be captains again, and then maybe a 6 month ban, or a ban of the next australian summer’s cricket, at most. I’d probably go with a 3 or 5 match ban?

Get rid of Lehman though. Whether he was involved or not, he has to take ultimate responsibility imo. Plus his sledging/crowd abuse comments are all over the place.


A very much appreciated bulk mail out from James Sutherland has put my mind at rest. All Australians want answers.

‘A message from James Sutherland

To our Australian Cricket Fans,

We are sorry.

We are sorry that you had to wake up this morning to news from South Africa that our Australian Men’s Cricket team and our Captain admitted to conduct that is outside both the Laws of our game and the Spirit of Cricket.

This behaviour calls into question the integrity of the team and Cricket Australia.

Following discussions with Steve Smith and David Warner they have agreed to stand down as Captain and Vice-Captain respectively for the remainder of this Test match.

As I said at a media conference earlier today, Cricket Australia and Australian cricket fans expect high standards from cricketers representing our country, and on this occasion these standards have not been met.

We know how you feel and have heard your feedback loud and clear. We share your anger and disappointment.

As you would be aware, we have launched an immediate investigation into what transpired in Cape Town, and our Head of Integrity is travelling to South Africa as we speak.

All Australians, like us, want answers and we will keep you updated on our findings, as a matter of urgency.

James Sutherland
Chief Executive Officer’


Yep interesting to wake up to that in the inbox this morning

the hot takes are getting too much now, but I do like the NT News with another classic front page



Watch out everyone, the Head of Integrity’s coming. Look busy.

What job titles are roughly equivalent to Cricket Australia’s Head of Integrity? Director of Vegetables at Willy Wonka’s factory?


confiscate the urn.


probably best swap it for the 2005 win, and while we’re at it, let them celebrate the 2001 win all over again.


Three things about this strike me, probably been covered above.

Firstly, the fact that this ‘leadership group’ decided to try and hang Bancroft out to dry is cowardly behaviour.

Secondly, I don’t know if Smith was anticipating some sort of ‘ah, fair play mate, shit happens’ reaction after admitting to brazenly conspiring to cheat, but I found the whole admission quite amazing.

Thirdly, fuck the Aussies and their moral high ground attitude. Fuck folk like Lehmann, Warner and Lyon who are quite happy to give the verbals, push the boundaries of sledging and then start whinging when it’s given back to them (regardless of how justified they might be).

Quite a few people I’ve heard talk about this, or written pieces I’ve read have talked about Schadenfreude and how boorish this Australian side is. If Lyon can be implicated along with Smith and Warner, then this will be pretty sweet.

Talk of lifelong bans is way wide of the mark, but I can’t see how Smith or Warner could possibly be given a leadership role in the side going forward.


Agree with all three points - the third in particular has really been annoying me, not sure why Lehman and Warner think/thought they get to set the line on what is and isn’t acceptable. Jimmy A and Stokes (amongst others) are pretty unpleasant at times, but they don’t usually start complaining about crowd abuse or other players (as far as I’m aware tbf).

On your second point - I think it was realising that the combo of being caught on video and lying to the umpires about it was really bad, and the best way out was to be totally honest. Which is kind of admirable, I’m pretty sure I would have tried to minimise it and say it was just me (Smith) and Bancroft on our own as a spur of the moment thing.

Haven’t read the story as I refuse to give the Mail page clicks (can’t remember the DM reader page), but story in there about Warner talking to the England players after the ashes about using his fielding bandages to scuff up the ball. Not even sure where to start on that.