ma0sm
28 September 2018 11:03
8
Great Replies of the week
https://community.drownedinsound.com/t/dis-lgbtqi-thread/26932/88
https://community.drownedinsound.com/t/dis-lgbtqi-thread/26932/91
https://community.drownedinsound.com/t/happy-monday/29506/58
That was it pulling in, made it! I’d like to thank everyone for their support.
Around the world around the RUdolph. — TheoGB
A man walks into a bar. As he’s ordering a beer, he happens to glance down towards the other end of the bar and see a man with a big orange head. As the bartender brings his beer, the man asks him, “What’s with the guy with the big orange head?”
The bartender chuckles. “Yeah,” he says, “That’s a helluva story, alright. Why don’t you go buy him a drink, and maybe he’ll tell you about it.”
So the man walks over to the guy with the orange head, introduces himself, and offers to buy him a beer. Th…
So there’s this kid who absolutely loves tractors. Cannot get enough of them, he’s got a tractor duvet, tractor wallpaper, all his toys are tractor based and he cannot wait to reach the age where he can finally take his tractor driving test and devote the rest of his life to using tractors as a job. He’d be doing what he loves, what kind of work is that!
Anyway, many years later and the big day had finally rolled round. The lad got out of his (tractor duvet covered) bed with a spring in his ste…
Was walking my dog through a graveyard at dawn. Lovely crisp day, beads of fresh dew on the grass, beams of sunlight coming through the branches of the trees as my dog was running through the old churchyard. Saw a guy crouched down behind one of the gravestones and shouted ‘morning!’. He said ‘no mate I’m just having a shit’
It’s a Barry Cryer one:
A man gets on a train and sits down opposite a little old lady. As soon as they leave the station, she takes a bible out of her handbag and starts to read it intently. When they arrive at the next station, she marks her place and tucks the book away, but remains seated. The train pulls away, and again she takes the bible out of her handbag, finds her place, and continues reading, only to put it away when the train pulls into the next station. The train pulls away, and ag…
Another one:
A guy was driving out in the country when he saw a sign saying ‘Talking Dog for Sale.’
He rang the bell and the owner told him the dog was in the backyard.
The guy went into the backyard and saw a Labrador sitting there…
‘You talk?’ he asked.
‘Yes,’ the Lab replied.
‘So, what’s the story?’
The Lab looked up and said, ‘Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the police about my gift, and in no time at all they ha…
Also a Barry Cryer joke. A woman goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The man says 'this ones on sale cause it used to live in a brothel and its language is pretty bawdy. The woman says ‘that’s fine, I’ve got two teenage daughters, I’m used to it’ She takes it home and it looks around and says ‘ooo new room, very nice’ The daughters come home and it says ‘ooo new room, new girls very nice’ Her husband comes in and the parrot looks around and says ‘hello Alan’
1 Like
These are definitely too many for me to put in a poll
ma0sm
28 September 2018 14:13
12
Maybe sack off the joke ones as they’re not original material?
1 Like
ma0sm
28 September 2018 14:15
14
It’s either that or bugduv’s one tbf
Sorry pals, I’ve gone rogue and awarded it to @LastAstronaut for this because it made me laugh:
Show Me Your Flange - #6 by LastAstronaut
All complaints to be mailed to Sean’s home address. Poll version back next week.
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Surely as this post was made after this week’s nominations started it shouldn’t be eligible until next week?
Hmm maybe, it’s still this week though? We never really went through this in detail
Al very true, I will cede to your judgement as Queen of Badges though in absence of clearly laid out rules.
3 Likes
ma0sm
28 September 2018 17:17
22
Huge fan of this abuse of power
5 Likes
Unbelievable.
Not even the best post in the thread
smh
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i won’t allow marckee the talking dog joke cos someone else (foppyish?) posted it on Old DiS years ago
probably can’t allow him the Barry Cryer ones either but i did lose it a bit at the bible one. bloody love a bit of Barry.
Jamos
28 September 2018 17:33
25
it’s like pacino winning the oscar for scent of a woman, doesn’t deserve it for that particular one but is a GBOL that deserves recognition so fuck it might as well
2 Likes
Blimey, thanks very much! Where should I send the cheque?
Your muff one was better than mine, it made me snort laugh in the office!
1 Like