Pre-Leaving Rituals

sigh in disappointment

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I end up laughing at myself if it starts taking too long, it’s like for fucks sake how many times can I nudge a tap

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I used to have to touch everything I brushed against an even number of times with exactly the same pressure before leaving. That was fun.

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Before leaving a job I like to take multiple trips to the confidential waste bin to destroy everything I was meant to do but locked in a cupboard instead.


And my job?

Confidential waste disposal man.

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check I’ve got me keys
make sure cats aren’t in the nether zone

Urgh, God, it can take about half an hour depending on how anxious I am. Basically involves a lot of checking everything like plug sockets and the oven are off multiple times and taking photos to prove it.
My camera roll is just memes, the odd selfie and pictures of my bloody hob haha


Me too but with my iron, not my oven. although I’ve realised I haven’t taken a picture of my iron since February!

My rituals also sometimes include taking the cord of the iron and waving it in my face saying THIS IS OFF YOU’LL REMEMBER THE PLUG IN YOUR FACE and then leaving and THEN coming back in and taking a picture of the fucking iron!

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Remember to walk out the door backwards to fool burglars into thinking I’ve just come home.

Whatever makes you happy but isn’t there a very small window within which this would work, like about 3 seconds, after which the burglar would just see you leave the area?

Surely the iron is only plugged in while in use? Or is this ironing and then leaving straight after?

Somehow I’ve never got to the picture taking stage.

Never entered my mind, thankfully.

Although I was horrified to hear a friend of mine locked his back door, took a photo of him locking it, then went back to check and it was actually still unlocked

No, I iron. I unplug. I wrap the lead around the iron. I then go to leave maybe 15 minutes after ironing and then I somehow convince myself the iron has the ability to plug back in! I will also get to the station and go “am I definitely sure that was off and I unplugged that or did I just imagine that cause I do it the same every single day on autopilot and can’t actually remember doing that today” and then I have to go all the way home again to find it definitely off.
So I do the plug wave in face plus take a picture so that when my body goes cold before stepping onto the train, I can just look at the picture of the off iron.


:partying_face: yay! That’s great news, well done!

But yeah I feel you, it’s such a nightmare. When it’s been really bad I’ve taken videos as well, like the world’s most depressing through the keyhole cause you can just hear me crying and swearing under my breath as I stomp about zooming in on switches and stuff

  • I have coping mechanisms for leaving the house
  • I just leave the house

0 voters

Ah I see. I only iron on a Sunday evening so never leave the house straight after (not ironed in 9 months though obviously)

So now I’ve got to take pictures of stuff, well that’s just great

Kermy I haven’t taken a picture of my iron since february cause I haven’t ironed anything or left the house :laughing:

But yes, this is also me. I have a few plugs I need off before I leave and photograph plugs. I have GHDs which turn off automatically if you leave them on my accident but AS IF I’m trusting that!!

We’re tired kermy. We’re very tired.