Private Road - No Turning

DWIW mate, fuck you going to do about it


Once I was in a taxi that went down a private road and the driver said “if anyone stops us tell them you’re wanting to check out the private school” and the road had these massive houses that you could barely see through their hedges and long driveways and a private golf course

We went down a private road a few weeks ago (on my birthday in fact!) looking for a better place to park to start a walk. Some posh bloke in a gilet came out of his massive garage - Mrs CCB asked all politely whether we could park there for a walk, and he replied “no you can’t… this is a private road” in a properly dismissive voice. Well screw you Giles, I’m gonna park there when you’re out.

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this road’s not for turning


There’s a private road near where I live but I don’t know if it means privte as in the type of hedge. You can just walk down it and there are hedges.

You missed a golden opportunity there to shout “It’s my birthday and I can do what I want!” with a big smile on your face there.

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You’re lucky he didn’t put you under a citizen’s arrest.


Or make him get out of the car and prepare to die.


Went for a walk down one once and we planned that if we got challenged, the french person in the group would do the talking and pretend that none of us spoke english. Anyway the landowner turned up and said we couldn’t walk there and the french person did a really shit job of pretending not to speak english so we had to go back


Road in Bath by a NT property has a no parking sign, not even private. Park there every time. #DWIW

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I also love to turn my car on peoples no turning driveways. Even if I don’t need to!


when they put rocks there i hate it

Mate of mine from university lived on a private road on account of his family being rich. I remember enjoying being challenged by one of his neighbours when a few of us came back from a few beers down the park, with my mate wearing his Iron Maiden T-shirt blasting out metal from his blaster perched on his shoulder as we ambled down the road.

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Seems people who live on Private roads give up their jobs and lives to patrol said road, ensuring nobody does something terrible there like walk on some tarmac they jointly own.

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There’s one down the road from me, that now has gates at the end of the road. And it’s really weird because this is really very much not “private road” kind of country, it’s more “park your car on the pavement” country.

They built a big posh estate opposite my house and one stipulation when building was access to the retail park.

Council wouldn’t adopt road once finished so it’s now a private road but has access to retail park so about a million people walk down it every day

Fuck you GILES!

Quite like that private roads are supposed to denote exclusivity and superiority but normally the roads and pavements are completely trashed because no one will pay for repairs.


thought this was an album recommendation


They’re often a source of complaints about unwanted parking, too, but it’s generally not the council’s responsibility to do enforcement on private roads.

So, then, one solution to stop the unwanted parking is to put up gates to prevent public access, which can then impede bins being easily collected.

Fuck you GILES!

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If I’m ever rich enough to own property that people might want to use for turning I’ll make a little sign that says please feel free to turn here x