Question for older DiSers about their friends' partners


#1

And by older, I mean all those who talk about house buying and genuine opinions on favourite supermarkets.

Are there any of your friends’ partners that you don’t get along with? I find it is quite common for my friends and me to not get along or just don’t click with with some of our other friends’ partners, which is a shame. Does this change when they actually settle down and have kids and serious things like that? Is not liking someone who is making your friend happy and a major part of their life actually a bit silly?


#2

It’s not quite an answer to your question but people often seem to find someone else’s choice of partner a bit unexpected, that they don’t really suit each other.


#3

I guess so yeah. I’m sure I’ve mentioned my wife’s best mate’s husband before, we have absolutely zero in common and whenever we meet the first thing he does is give me shabs about how much better York Cathedral is than Lincoln Cathedral. I just grin and bear it cos I know he makes my wife’s best mate happy.


#4

Actually did a little mental audit on this recently because I was challenged on it for some reason.

I worked out there are 5 who I actively dislike and who I am justified in doing so. This is around 10% I’d say.

Think the remainder is 45% - get on perfectly ok with but wouldn’t choose to see them and 45% - really like them and want to spend more time with them.


#5

Why is York better?


#6

check out johnny 50 friends over here


#7

I think it’s his attempt at shabby bantz but it’s just done really badly. A bit like getting competitive over football teams or something, it genuinely means nothing.


#8

so he’s not really called geoff at all then?!?!?!


#9

Pretty much. Put your own feelings to one side for the greater good of someone else.


#10

No I always get on with friends partners but our partners can enjoy each others company at parties etc but they probably wouldn’t call each other up and pick each other as friends if they didn’t have us as their connection! Which is interesting!

The things is, older people like those who talk about house buying and genuine opinions on favourite supermarkets can still chat and enjoy being in someone’s company for an evening, even if you wouldn’t necessarily have them as a friend, when you learn how to do it it’s a revelation! You don’t have to like everyone when you’re old! It’s liberating.


#11

Funnily enough I have been to both. And he is right. He really is.

Negging someone off with cathedral chat is so hilariously shit I’m actually wondering if this bloke’s actually a genius.


#12

#FUCK OFF MATE LINCOLN IS BEST EVS!


#13

Sorry I don’t know what came over me there. Yeah that’s it, just grin and bear it innit.


#14

:smiley:

I’ve now got this idea in my head that this lad just permanently has cathedral hubris bubbling under waiting to get out and I’m finding it very funny.


#15

I should probably say I’ve known him for around 11 years as well. Every time, without fail, cathedral chat.


#16

UTI indeed


#17

Yes I think it does feel less of an issue when you’re a bit older. I think when you’re in your 20s, living in shared houses, going out every weekend, spending a great deal of time with a single group of friends, if there’s someone introduced to the group who doesn’t gel so well it feels like a massive deal. When you’re actually spending most of your time with your own partner/kids/etc and more seeing your friends for specific social events, rather than them being an intimate part of your life, you don’t feel the need for their partners to be a part of the gang so much. Also what casseroles said about getting older and being able to just enjoy someone’s company for a little bit and not worry whether you’ll be bessies later on.


#18

That’s fair enough. At the moment, these partners aren’t really people my friends have committed to or settled with, so there is often the case of someone you hope they don’t end up with, but if they do, grinning and bearing it and arguing the case for your cathedral.


#19

Really hope he never meets anyone from Salisbury 'cos he’ll get sparked out


#20

Might put in a bit of research and do a proper David Brent/Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky on him next time I see him.