Quick question about baby showers

Is it normal to ask everyone you’re inviting to contribute money towards the shower on top of asking for presents?

Depends who is organising it.

A friend - basically fine, why should they burden the cost. Or at least do it in a nice way eg. Everyone brings some food or whatever.

The parent - fuck that.


Nope. In my experience it’s normal for the organiser to pay for most things, except maybe if they are organising a joint gift on behalf of everyone. Normally all the guests should offer to bring something like food or drink e.g. I’ll normally offer to bake a tacky cake or something. The host is normally a sister or best friend so they should be ok with footing the bill. In my opinion :woman_shrugging:.

It’s not clear, as i’m not invited but it seems to be the parents of the mother to be who are collecting the money

That’s what I’d have thought. I’m not really sure what is planned. I mean i suppose asking to bring some food or pop isn’t much different from asking for contributions, although again it seems to be the future grandparents collecting it.

How much money is it?

I’m not sure i think people have been giving maybe up to a tenner, so not much. A message has gone round chasing more money, naming those who have paid.

jesus :grimacing:

Wow. Well a tenner is fair enough but chasing/naming people is definitely not. Let’s maybe just assume that because they’re an older generation they’re out of touch? I’d be pretty shocked if friends of mine ever behaved in such a way.

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No, adults can’t fit in baby showers.


i have no experience of them but i would absolutely not pay for one. isn’t it already just a self indulgent party to make people bring you presents?

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Yeah, that bit seems really off. Personally, I’m frustrated by the fact the father doesn’t seem involved in the planning, and it’s an all woman invite list and, well, i don’t particularly like the idea of inviting guests to something with the sole purpose is to ask for gifts. I get it’s a thing, but it just seems a bit presumptive. When the baby is born we’ll get them presents, through choice, rather than pressure.

FYI I’ve never known a father or men to be involved in a baby shower, ever. Not saying it should be the case, but I don’t think it’s something that really happens.

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Yeah, i get that impression and am dead against it, but then again we wouldn’t want a baby shower, were we to get pregnant.

i haven’t been to one but i wouldn’t really expect to be asked to pay. i mean weddings are expensive but i don’t expect to be asked for a contribution towards the venue and catering.

(edit - meant to say, isn’t £10 per person quite a lot? it doesn’t seem like the kind of thing where you’d need to get a ton of booze or expensive catering for everyone)

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There’s normally a bunch of baby related party games and that would probably cost a reasonable amount to do. But still, unless you were very strapped for cash it’s the kind of thing you’d just cover yourself.

Yeah, the cost thing is confusing me. I mean a bit of bunting and maybe a glass of fizz. Would be odd getting everyone drunk at that sort of a thing

I’d bake something, or make some snacks, or cupcakes. some sort of edible contribution. packet of kettle chips, splice the packet down the side, lay it flat and share the contents.

I’d probably spend weeks researching the perfect thing to cook to try and impress people, and then i’d act like it was no big deal and super easy. maybe don’t do that if time=money.

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Definitely just at a house somewhere? Was just wondering if it could be in some ultra-posh high tea place maybe?