Quote fury

We want to have a porch built. Fairly standard 3sqm thing. We have had four builders come round now.

Seems the standard is about £1,200 per sqm. But you know… things get more expensive. So I was thinking maybe £5-6k or something. Maybe some trying £8k?

This link starts with a quiz of how much you think it will be. Goes up to 9-10k as the ridiculous top tier price one:

Here is another supporting those general costs:


Just got the first quote through this morning. £15,420!!!

Pretty sure some legislation cam in over Christmas where they have to build porches in 3D now, so they quote per cubic meter.

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Bloody Eurocrats!

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Build your own porch!


What’s everyone doing next weekend? Porch building party round mine?

Sure! Can you cover my £15k travel costs?


“So nice to finally meet you, Spider-Man.”


We just had one built for 2 large

Do it yourself, you lazy fuck.

N.B. there is no way that I would do it myself

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There is no way anyone would do it themselves without having at least a basic knowledge of bricklaying.

I wouldn’t imagine you would even put up some shelves, pal!

Let’s see a picture of it please.

How VERY dare you!

Sounds like “CBA with this job, gonna quote them a massive amount” quote


(£2600! For some shelves! Bought a unit from John Lewis for £600 instead, which initially seemed absurdly expensive. Then we got that quote.)

Hopefully. This guy also took ages to get back to me and was 45 minutes late (although he did ring when he was 15 minutes late already). Lightening quick quote though.

I’ll do it for £15,419.

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Yeah we need to fill a large alcove with some shelving. More than happy to do it myself but would prefer a unit. Let’s take a look at yours, please.

Terence Conran jobbie. You can get a narrower one but that’s the widest one.

Thank you

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