Rank holiday Monday thread

[Gnometorious]

My boss’s wife has sent me a friend request on FB

[barleysugar]

SAS Ant Middleton thing. One of the staff comes out barking orders with his pants/underwear down with no explanation.

[barleysugar]

They’re all abseiling down a cliff and he’s at the top screaming at them with his cock and balls out.

[AQOS]

I’m worried I don’t overshare enough

[barleysugar]

How often do you do polls then forget to vote in them yourself?

• Everytim
• Couple of times a fortnight
• Never

[manches]

M-B FAMILY MEMBER 1: keep the blindfold on just a bit longer

They walk into the pub function room, at which point a SWARM OF MERRYMAKERS does emerge yelling SURPRISE

M-B: crumbs a surprise party, when you blindfolded me and drove me to a nearby pub on my birthday I never could have guessed this would be the reason

CLOSE FRIEND: that’s not all tho, we know you like that music forum so much so we all decided it would be a nice gesture to get friends and family to read out your posts here in front of you now

ELDERLY RELATIVE: (reading) mate the temperatures wicked high today and it’s got me so hot and bothered that I’m literally dry humping the fridge and no this isnt comic exaggeration I literally need to nip down ikea to get a replacement because this fridge and the perishable contents therein are absolutely ruined now

FORMER TEACHER: (reading) i like the final fantasy 7 soundtrack possibly more than I like myself

[keith]

Shameless.

[breakfast_t_england]

I am slightly concerned about stuff I might have said about work - don’t think i’ve even said much other that the usual “it’s shit” or anything actually detailed, but given how much I know my work check up on us and what we say/do online, it definitely makes me a bit more cautious than I probably need to be

[tilty]

You were at uni three years ago? Well now I feel ancient.

[manches]

I was at uni 10 years ago and I feel like such an elderly failure

[tilty]

Very small bimble today to get BBQ supplies.

Feel like I look quite nice today.

[barleysugar]

Yeah I’m only 21

[tilty]

You havin me on

[barleysugar]

Was a mature student, went aged 26.

[keith]

What are you mixing the Dettol with?

[barleysugar]

I’ve said way too much stuff about colleagues. Gonna go into a spiral if I think about this too much. Tempted to actually send a big list of posts to the mods requesting deletion. Not sure what the rules are on that.

[Scout]

Baked bread, messed about in the garden, now having a nice lunch (giant cous cous, broad beans, asparagus, pistachio, lemon, avocado)

[Gnometorious]

Show me yours please!

[Gnometorious]

You do! Luscious hair

[barleysugar]

• White eggs
• Classic brown