reaching adult status

At what age do you now think you were actually an adult?

Thinking about what I was like at the age of 18 or even 21, I was nowhere near an adult then. Just allowed to go the pub at 18 and shortly after that, living independently from my parents.

At the time being at uni felt like I was a grown up but really I was just a child.

I also realise that a large amount of this is luck/privilege.

Also realising that certain things I was considering putting in to my answer would be (rightly) criticised. Definitely have DiS to thank for helping me understand ways in which I am lucky.

eg. paying of my student overdraft, getting a salaried full time job. Those felt like adult moments but there are a lot of adults who have debts and insecure work. I’m just lucky that things have panned out that way, it’s not a sign of maturity per se.

Maybe this needs a poll

Maybe this needs an SSP too

Anyway, this OP is long enough now

I’ll let you know when I get there


Really really hate people talking about “adulting” and “adult milestones” like it’s a checklist or a merit badge to earn.


I have a full time job, got married and own a house and I still feel like a strangely large child with a bad back


I recently emailed the council about something entirely non-urgent just because I was curious about local administrative stuff. That might have been the turning point for me


I think when I was 24 there was a bit of a shift in my life - I got a job which turned into a career (mainly because I’m too lazy to do anything else), and got a car which wasn’t falling apart. It’s laughable looking back that I thought I might be some sort of adult back then - I was still getting wasted every weekend and making decisions to get further into debt to go to festivals.

I’m not sure I actually became a proper adult until it was forced on me by becoming a parent, and I’m still not sure I’m really one now

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I’ve caught myself admiring bridges quite a lot recently. Is it possible to be a teenager and an old man at the same time


Serious answer

Looking back, was probably around 29/30 when I consider myself reaching adulthood. Was around this time when I got promoted into a job with actual responsibility instead of knocking around shelf stacking and riding my bike at every possibility, moved away from my hometown I’d lived in my entire life and a couple of years after was the birth of my first child. So probably around that time.

But, I’m not financially secure at all (renting with no possibility to save owt and have a whack of debt I cant clear quick enough) and pretty rubbish with money, have spent 17½ yrs working for the same company and have little experience of other work and didn’t go to uni. So I still feel like I’m missing out on the bits of adulthood my mates and others have and judge myself harshly because of that.

Got into bird watching in the past year, so definitely sped through to old man status pretty quick.

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I think being an adult is when you have a pretty clear idea of what you need to make you happy in the long run (where you want to live, the living situation, how you want your social life to be structured, knowing your personal ethics and morals and what you prioritise amongst those) but then the realisation that through poverty/lack of work/aging parents/poor health/tories/whatever else keeps you from fucking off to live in a shepherd’s hut, you’re just going to sustain a constant level of hope that you’ll manage it somehow and ennui that you won’t.

So I’d say you become an adult at the beginning of your most enduring existential crisis.

Unless you’re rich of course, I don’t know when you become an adult then.

This wasn’t meant as a depressing post and yet…:sweat_smile:


Think this happens when you realise that a lot of adults are absolute clowns who don’t have a clue what they’re doing and aren’t these mystical beings who always know and do right as you’re led to believe when you’re young.


Depending on how you look at it, about age 12 or never


For me it was at the resolution of my most enduring existential crisis, which lasted from ages 4 to 29


When I stopped waiting for things to get easier and simply accepted that life is always going to be hard in new and exciting ways. So around 32.


When I had more hair on my arse than on my head.


Find it quite harmful as a way of viewing ourselves and each other tbh.


Found ways, significantly including drugs, to avoid actually growing up much until about 29

I kind of think that it’s gone the other way now - cutesy referencing to ‘adulting’ is everywhere on social media usually by the same people who successfully turned the idea of therapy into ego-driven personal branding

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Ordered a washing machine half an hour ago and it’s arriving tomorrow and I’m so excited

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It was the age of 22 when my mum was hit by a bus and nearly died, and my dad had a heart attack and did die, all within the space of 3 months. Went from two healthy parents looking after me from afar while i was dicking about at uni to looking after my family and trying to keep everything together as the eldest with teenage siblings. It was a sharp shock, before that i thought i was grown because i lived away from home and was working with flu viruses and cancer cells but i was really a stupid baby with no concept of what adulthood and adult responsibility really is. Still feel like a fake adult though 11 years later


Quite fun in a way that as a #nokids couple I will potentially never achieve adult status in the eyes of the dull